Installment #25 Cynthia

                                          

     Cynthia Browder stared at the phone in her hand.  She checked the caller id.  Yes, that was Tucker Fuhrman.  What had he said?  Nothing really.  It was like the last 5 months had never happened.  Was that normal?  Apparently it was in Tucker Fuhrman’s world.  Blow up.  Make an ass out of yourself.  Wait 5 months and then call like it had never happened.  But it had.  She remembered how afraid she had been.  She also remembered how lonely she had been.  And now, he had just called and acted like they had just talked yesterday.   Yes, she would see him again.  Not today.  Maybe not this week, but when she was ready.  The fear she had felt that night was still in the recesses of her mind and she knew she could not forget that.  She remembered Cleo.  Such a loving dog.  Tucker did not deserve such a devoted friend.  She wondered if he walked her.  She thought not. 

     As she lay in her bed that night, she remembered how complete her friendship with Tucker had made her feel.  She remembered all their walks on the levy and how excited he had been when she had shown him how to fold a leaf from a cottonwood tree, blow through it and make a very loud whistle.  He had wanted to learn to whistle, but this was as close as it came. 

     It was clear by his phone call, that he had missed her.  He would never say the words, but she knew he had.  Why else would he call?  It was like they had talked yesterday, but they hadn’t.  As she drifted towards the abyss of sleep she pictured Tucker setting on the rocks at the levee, alone. Tucker was always alone.  Even when they were in a crowd, Tucker was alone.  As she drifted on the waves of slumber she knew, that Tucker was her destiny and he would always be alone.  It made her sad to think of the future, because she could not see one.  She could only see loneliness and never having anyone to hold her.  Tucker might be there, but he would never hold her, but she knew that she did not want anyone else to hold her.  It was a sad world that was shaping around her and pulling her in deeper, but she knew as sure as God was in his heaven that Tucker was her future.