#19 A new day

I began to rouse myself.  I had no idea how long I had been asleep, if sleep was actually what it was, but Rompano standing beside me.  I raised myself to his level and was disturbed to see that he looked very sad.  I thought of touching him and I could feel his warmth.



“Oh, Rompano, why do you look so sad?”  I could not imagine what could make him sad in this world we were in that had no beginning, no end and not even a now.



“ I have learned something.  I do not know how I learned it.  It just came into my head.  I think that is how we learn here. At least I think that is how, otherwise I would not know this.”



He did not move, but I felt his arms holding me.  And then he began to speak.  “ I am going to be sent back. I am going to be born again into a family in Central Kansas.  Imagine that!  I know nothing of who they are, or why I am going there.  I just know I will be leaving you and that makes me sad.  I have learned more.  I have learned that some people have been together since the beginning  of time.  They keep getting thrown together or finding their way to each other.  Do you think that could be true of you and I?”



I thought a moment and then smiled.  “I think that is possible.  The first time I saw you  I knew you.  You found me here in this place and that is something.  I love you like I have loved you forever.”



“And I you.”  He laughed.  “I do not even know your name.  We don’t really need names here, but I want to give you one.  I want to call you Infiniti.  I do not know if I will remember this when I leave here, but I will know you when I see you.  I will look in your eyes and I will see Infiniti.  We were meant to be together forever.”



Somehow I knew this was true.  I remembered how I had walked into places I had never been and knew where every thing was located.  I knew the people on the street that I had never met.  I remembered hiking a trail near Beulah and I knew I would find the Mountain Sage near the top.  Some people called it dejavu.  I remembered the first time I had met my husband.  I knew him.  I knew we were destined.  I turned to face Rompano, but he was gone.



A strange peace came over me.  I knew I had work to do if I wanted to reach the shining shores and rest in the arms of my sweet Jesus, but I was ready.  As I settled to the softness of my mossy little room with my furry friends beside me I thanked my God for having sent me Rompano.  I knew not what lay ahead, but I did know that somewhere I would find him, or he would find me and together we would work to change the world.

#16 Ellis Island

I had very little time to spend in my mossy little room, but when I was there I was very content.  I was surrounded by my animals.  This having pets and not having to be responsible for grooming and feeding them was a relief.  At some point in time I would travel back in time and learn a lesson from my past.  I was still reveling in what had been a wonderful life in the black Forest of Germany when I felt the room began to change and I felt myself propelled back and then forward.  I was beginning to get the hang of just stopping and letting it happen.  There was no way I could control anything so I had to just go with the flow and learn whatever lesson was on for that day.  It was strange that the lessons were not always in chronological order.  Actually, they were rarely in order.  They just happened.  I relaxed and let my mind follow wherever I was going.

I gazed at the high ceiling and then around at the teeming crowds.  They were all going in one direction.  We came to a barricade and had to stop.  A loud voice boomed over a megaphone of some sort that was meant to amplify sound.

"Settle down!  I will get to you all in due time.  I know you had a rough crossing, but you are here now and if we all work together we will be out of here and you can start your new life."

I stared around and slowly realization came to me.  I was in the building on Ellis Island!  I had just gotten off the boat from Germany.  I held the hand of my son Christoph Adam Haas.  I realized then that I was my great grandfather.  Christoph would marry Josie Miller and they would be the parents to my mother.  It was then that I realized how this worked.  Or at least I thought I did.  Apparently I was a Haas before I was born and had the memories of my ancestors.  But how could that be?  Rompano had told me I worked in the ovens when the Jews were killed.  Was I a product of other ancestors also?  That could not be.  But it could be that I was a product of several different lines, but they all began to coverge.  Suddenly a voice boomed and a hush fell over the hall of Ellis Island.

"Johann Jakob Haas!"  I grasped the hand of my son Christof Adam Haas and began to move forward into my new life.  We were propelled forward by the teeming masses.  We stopped several times to have our papers marked by some big man who seemed to be in charge of that area and then we were shuffled onward to another grisly looking man who mumbled something and then pushed us onward.  Periodically one or another of the families were shunted off and out of sight.  I did not know what that reasoning was about, but I was glad that we kept moving forward towards the high, heavy door at the far end of the room.

Finally we reached the doors and there was no one ahead of us.  A kindly old man took my paper.

 He looked at the children with me and said very solemnly, "Welcome to Amerika Mr. Johann Jakob Haas!  We wish you all the best in your future endeavors."

I stepped forward as  the heavy oak doors swung open and we stepped out and into our new country!  I could feel a tear sliding down my cheek.  We were no longer Germans, but we were now Americans.   I raised my eyes to heaven and thanked my heavenly father for allowing me to see this beautiful world.

God was indeed good.

#15 The paleolithic era

I watched as a huge, hairy creature emerged from the cave.  I had read about cavemen and the beginning of time, but now I was witnessing it for myself.  The creature walked mostly slumped over with his knuckles nearly dragging the ground.  The bulk of his body was covered with an animal skin of some sort.  Nothing I had ever seen.  It looked rather like the hide of a Brontosaurus.  Now in all fairness, I have no idea what a Brontosaurus looked like, but that is what came to my mind as I looked at the creature.  Behind him was another creature.  This one was smaller in stature, but wore the same sort of animal skin.  This one carried some sort of small bundle that was made of the same skin.  It slowly dawned on me, that what I was seeing was a primitive man with his primitive woman and the bundle was a baby.

I watched in horror as what could only be a saber tooth tiger burst forth from the trees and leapt on the woman.  The man made an attempt to club the animal, but it was to no avail.  In the melee the baby was dropped and as the tiger tore into the woman the man grabbed the baby and ran back into the safety of the cave.

I stood in mute terror at the sight before.  Suddenly I felt or sensed that I was not alone.  I turned my head to find Rompano  there with me.

“Oh, my God!  What is this?  Where are we?  Who are these people?”  I had gone to sleep and now I was totally confused.  Was this a dream?

Rompano smiled.  “Well, dear girl, this is your past.  You will see more of these pictures from past lives and each one will teach you a lesson. I will tell you that one of these people was you.  Can you guess which one?”

I stared at him in disbelief.  This was ludicrous.  He tapped his fingers together to show he was waiting.  OK, I would play his silly little game.

“Of course, I am the woman who just got eaten!”  Rompano laughed.

“No, you are the baby.  Your father will raise you alone.  He will teach you to stand straight and tall.  You will wear a headband and fashion a bow and arrow.  You will tame a horse to ride and you will lead your clan in battle.  You will be a fierce warrior and you will be very respected.  You will fashion a needle out of bone and use sinew for your thread.  You will clothe your people.  You will discover how to make fire with a piece of flint and dry seed pods.  You will move your people from cave man to Neanderthal.”

“So, am I a woman then?”

“No, you are neither man nor woman.  You are what is known as a shaman.”

“And what life lesson am I learning?”

“You are learning to lead.  You become a judge, so you are learning to be fair.  You are learning patience.”

I looked at Rompano and as I gazed at him, he faded away and I was once more in my room, without having to even think about it.  I had the feeling that my life was about to get very interesting.      

#14 A look back. rerun

I awoke to find my mossy little room aglow.  I quickly found the source of the ethereal light.  Rompano sat a few feet from me and the light was coming from him!  I can not describe the color of the light, only that it was the brightest light I had encountered in my room, which now that I thought about it, was always bright.  As soon as he saw I was awake, the light dimmed.

"Well, so finally you are awake.  I turned the light bright to wake you up.  I didn't want to just shake you awake.  That is so rude.  Guess where we are going today?"

I stared at him with my mind completely blank.  I began to have a vision and knew that we were communicating in the way the hereafter let us communicate.  I saw a lovely garden.  It was beautiful beyond any earthly thing I could imagine.  Every kind of tree and shrub.  Beautiful flowers.  The soil was fertile and everywhere I looked was a different vista.  I looked beyond and as far as I could see, the garden extended.  And then I noticed there were people in the garden.  Across the garden I saw a man who was completely naked picking produce in a beautiful vegetable garden.  Carrots, lettuce, tomatoes, and a vegetable I did not recognize.  I looked to Rompano for an answer.

"Okra" he said simply."  That was one vegetable I had never really cared for so of course I would not recognize it.  "The man is Adam.  He is picking vegetables for their meal.  Eve is over there picking fruit.  They do not eat meat here."

I looked where he pointed and saw a lovely woman.  She was also naked.  Realization hit me!  This was the Garden of Eden.  This was where it all began!  As I watched the woman I knew it was Eve and to my astonishment I realized she was talking to a snake.  Oh, my God!  I was witnessing The Temptation!  For the first time since my death I had a feeling of helplessness.  I wanted to run forward and grab the snake and throw it out of the Garden, but I could not move.

"Rompano!  Why can't I move!  I could throw Satan out of the garden and the world would be perfect again!"  He only watched quietly and said not a word.

To my horror I saw Eve reach for the apple.  I watched helplessly as she took a bite.  I saw her face light up and then watched as she plucked another.  She left the tree and went to where Adam waited by the vegetable patch.  My feet were frozen to the ground as if I were one of the plants.  I looked for Rompano, but I could not see him.

"Look Adam!  I picked this from the tree in the center of the Garden.  Oh, it is so good!  You have to try a bite."  Adam was aghast!

"No, Eve!  That is the tree  knowledge.  The knowledge of good and evil.  Father said we could not eat of it or we would surely die.  Oh, my God!  You tasted it didn't you?"  Eve smiled a sly smile.

"Yes!  And that is why Father said not to eat it.  He knew we would then know what he knew, and it is so good.  It is sweet and like nothing I have ever tasted.  Look at me!  I am the same.  Nothing has changed.  He just wanted to keep it all for himself.  Here!  Just take one bite and you will see.  It hurts nothing, just tastes so good you will not believe it."  She held the apple out towards him and smiled innocently.

I watched in horror as Adam took the apple and bit into it.  I watched as he looked at Eve's naked body and then at his own.  I watched as he ran to the nearest tree and plucked a branch to cover himself and then one for Eve.  As I watched they seemed to age before my eyes.  Adam's hair turned white as snow and the years began to show on their faces.  My mind could barely absorb what I had just seen.  I closed my eyes and escaped to my mossy little room where Rompano waited.

"Oh, Rompano!  That was horrible!  Why couldn't I stop her?  Why was I there?"

"You do not exist, so how could you stop them, who also do not exist?  You will see many things while you are here.  I will take you many places, but you will not be able to change history.  I want you to know all this, because while you know it on some level, you have forgotten.  What you do need to know is that you were Eve.  Every one you meet in these travels, you are.  Well, you are not all of them, but you are one of the people.  You are in for one big experience and when it is over you will be perfect."

And with that, he was gone.  I was glad because I needed to think.  I was Eve.  I was the beginning.  I had brought the knowledge of good and evil into the world.  I wanted to change the world and I had, right from the beginning.  What else had I done?  Did I want to know?  It did not seem to make any difference, because Rompano would lead me through my existence and make me face it all.

But for now, sleep was my only escape.

#13 A lesson in the hereafter. Rerun

I awoke to an empty room.  Somehow I knew Sysnyck and Charmin were off somewhere, or just not existing at the time.  My first thought was or Rompano and as I thought of him, he appeared.  My mind was a whirl of questions.  Where had I come from?  Where was I going?  Where was my God that I had worshiped  all my life?

Rompano laughed!  “Hey, slow down!  I can only answer one question at a time.  Let me just give you a brief overview and then we can deal with the questions.  Now you know all about the big bang theory?  Well that is sort of true, but who do you think made the big bang happen?  Go clear back to the Genesis 1 verse 1.  What does it say?”

I closed my eyes and recited from memory, “In the beginning was God created the heaven and the earth.”

“Yep!  Picked up a little of this and made a round ball and set it in the middle of nothing.  Well, actually he made several of those before he got it right.  Then he put a big sun right in the middle for those balls to rotate around.  Basic history.  Then he started making people.  He didn’t get that right at first and had to make several prototypes before he made Adam and then Eve out of his rib.  And then up popped the devil! The perfect world was to be no more.  I always got a kick out of how that worked!  Adam was bent on doing what God said and then Eve lured him with that apple.  Well, pretty soon it was all out of control and God decided to wipe it all out and start over.  So he covered the earth with water and drowned everyone except Noah and his bunch….but you know all that!  What you need to know is everyone on this earth today is descended back to that time.”

That boggled my mind!  There were a lot of people walking around and to know they were all the same was more than my mind could grasp. 

Rompano laughed.  “No more history!  You know the basics, so just let me tell you how this works.  You are here.  A lot of your family is here, but some of them have been sent back to try again.  Your oldest sister is now 3 years old and is an only child in a mixed race family.  The last time around we decided she needed to learn empathy for people who were different from her.  Oh, and mothering lessons!  She always resented her brother and sisters in her last life and never felt that her mother loved her, so she could never love her own kids.  Now she has all her mothers love and maybe she can learn to love more than one person at a time.  Or not.  But this lady is really trying, so we will see.”

“So, Rompano, let me see if I have this.  We keep coming here until we get it right?  How many times have I been here?  Will I be sent back?  What do I need to learn?”  Rompano turned to look me full in the face.  He smiled a wry smile and then laughed.

“Oh, girl, you have been here lots of times!  I do not need to tell you what thought patterns you have had to change.  God takes each one of us and works with us over the years to make us perfect.  I will tell you , that you used to be a man and at one point you were in charge of the masses in the gas chambers in Germany under Hitler.  You were very cruel then, but God saw hope for you.  God is so patient with so many.  He rarely ever gives up on anyone.  He just keeps sending them back until they get it right.  Let me show you what you have to look forward to when you are perfect.”

He took my hand and I could actually feel the warmth of him.  As we stood there a bright spot appeared in front of me, but not close.  It had a soft blue glow and I saw figures clothed in white setting before a throne.  The most peaceful feeling came from the tableau before me and I felt love to the bottom of what ever I was.  I wanted to be there.  I wanted to meet the man on the throne!  I wanted to worship him!  It had to be God, but I could not make out his face or figure. 

“Oh, Rompano, how can I get over there?  I want that more than anything ever!”  I was overcome with a longing like I had never known.  There was not even a depth or width to my sorrow.

“Well, dear, you can, but there is a process.  You are not perfect yet.  You have to go back and be born again.  Now, I know you are thinking one thing, but I am thinking another.  Here in the hereafter, being born again means just that.  On earth it just means confessing that Jesus is Lord of all, and being ‘born again’ in the light of Christ.  Here it means you are going back into the world and learn the lesson you missed the other times you were there.  You will be given a new mother or father and you will be born to them in childbirth.  You have been there many times before but in a different form.  I think this time you are going to be rich!  You have managed before to get by with very little and you used it well.  The true test will be if you have lots of money and you still remember the poor people.  Like Mother Teresa.  Remember her?  She had nothing, but she still fed the hungry.  Money corrupts and with money comes power. Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.   I think we will see how that works for you.”

I wanted to ask him when that would happen, but he was gone.    I needed to think about this.  Born again?  Would I have a part in who I was born to?  How did this work?

#10 Past, Present, or future? rerun

Once more the thought of a walk intrigued me.  The last one had taken me to the Rainbow Bridge.  This time I wanted to just see the lay of the land and kind of explore.  It was amazing that if I were in the land of the living, I would be faunching at the bit to have lunch with one of my friends, solitude did not seem to bother me at all in this place, what ever it was.  It could not be heaven, because there were no angels.  And since I had never seen heaven, how did I know it wasn't heaven.  Best not to think too much.

Since I had gone forward the last time I decided to go to my right this time.  I walked (floated) up a gentle incline and then down the other side.  I came upon a house and was surprised to find it was a replica of my house on 5th Street in Hutchinson.  Why that place had been bulldozed years ago.  The last time I drove out 5th most of the houses were gone.  Hmm.

 I entered the house and was surprised to find it the same as it had been when I worked at the Red Carpet!  Oh!  There was that doll house that Gib and I had put together right after I had moved into the house.  The first Christmas.  No tree, so it must be past Christmas.  I peeked in the bedroom and there were the bunk beds.  Patty and Dona were asleep all wrapped up in each other.  Debbie was on the top bunk and Sam on the other bottom bunk.  One was empty.  That was because Patty and Dona always slept together.  Dona had her piece of one of my slips in her hand and was sucking on her thumb.  She sucked her thumb and Patty twisted her own hair.  That is how they slept.  I could brush Patty's hair and she would fall asleep.  Silly little girl.

I realized that I was in the past!  If I could stay in the past, I could change the things that had happened!  It was surreal to be here and yet not be here.  I wanted to touch my babies.  But what could I touch them with?  I was not real.  They were not real and yet they were the exact same as I remembered them.  I hurried to the back window.  The old black Ford was there.  The one with the floor board rusted out on the drivers side.  OMG!  I realized I was pregnant!  Susie was still in my stomach.  My heart wrenched as I stood in my past and knew it was all beyond my control.  It was overwhelming and I needed the security of my room.  In a perfect world I would have still been in Garden City with my husband, but the world is not perfect and I am not in it any more.

I opened the back door and stepped outside.  I heard music and knew it was coming from down the street where Crow Bar was located.  I turned back to the house, but it was gone.  I walked down to the bar, opened the door and went in.  There he set with Jake.  A blonde haired stranger.  Beautiful blue eyes.

"Hey, Louella!  over here.  I have someone I want you to meet.  This is Duane Seeger.  He works for  the Tree Service man."  And my life was never the same.  We were married 3 weeks later.  Five kids later, a divorce, both remarried, years later and it all was like yesterday.  And then I was on the knoll and then in my mossy little room.  In my room I did not have to think.  I did not have to remember.  I could just be.

I knew if I left the room and went forward I come to the Rainbow Bridge.  If I went to my right, I went into the past.  Which way had I gone to see Bret?  I hadn't.  I had just thought, so if I wanted to see the future, I thought about them and I was in their present.  Where was the future?  I am apparently existing on 3 different levels, past, present and future.  It was more than my little mind could comprehend, so I did what I do best...I fell asleep.



















s 

#9 The Rainbow Bridge. rerun

"Come on, kids!  Lets go scope this out!"  I started for the opening and the furry creatures  leapt in anticipation.  It was now my conception that time was flying past.  I thought I had been here a few days, but a visit to Bret proved me wrong.  It had apparently been a few years.  Either way I wanted to scope out the lay of the land and see just what heaven or whateverthisplacewas looked like.  I stood outside and looked to my right.  I wanted to go there and suddenly I was there!

Ahead of me lay the Rainbow Bridge!  I had heard of this place, but I did not realize it was an actual bridge.  I instinctively knew that on the other side would be a welcoming place.  As I watched the animals nearest me began to get excited.  Suddenly a little ball of fur began to jump up and down.  It was a very cute little champagne colored poodle.  Kenny had one like that years ago.  Her name was Tammy and that dog was devoted to him.  I did not see anyone coming to claim the dog, but I waited.  And then I saw a woman who appeared to be searching the Bridge.  Sysnyck and Charmin had come to me, but this woman was searching for her pet, it seemed.  Suddenly the little ball of fur hurdled itself up in the air, over the side and bolted up the bank on the other side.

The woman watched the dog with a look of bliss on her wrinkled old face.  "Oh, Buster!  There you are!  You little dickens.  I have missed you so."  She reached down and picked up the little ball of fluff which immediately began to lick her face with puppy kisses that had too long been denied.  As she held her puppy to her breast she slowly began to fade away.  Instinctively, I knew they were going to their own little mossy room and was very happy for them.  And then I noticed another commotion.  I watched as a red Dingo separated from the pack and waited expectantly watching in the direction the last person had come.  

I suddenly knew!  It was my Chile Dog, but I was on the wrong side.  I pictured myself on the incoming side and Chile saw me.  She bolted forward and I bent to caress her waiting head.  She had been a wonderful pet and always so protective.  Next came Polly.  Polly was the white cattle dog with one black eye.  

So now I knew there was an incoming side.  How had I missed that?  Or was that something that came later.  I looked at Sysnyck and Charmin.  How had I gotten them with me?  Or had they found me?  Could animals leave the Rainbow Bridge without an owner?  There was sure a lot about this hereafter that I was going to have to learn.  

I wondered if we could all fit in my mossy little room, but decided that we could and we would, so I took leave of the Rainbow Bridge and thought about the room.  And there we were!

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

  

#7 An outing of my own! rerun

I stretched out my arm and found Sysnyck.  The other hand found Charmin.  I was amazed at how content I was.  I was alone in wherever I was, but I was happy.  Was this how it would always be?  I thought back to my visit from Mother and my visit from Jake.  That had been nice, but was that all there was to this?  Just set here, take naps and wait for someone to visit?  I wondered, if I left my mossy little room how  would I find my way back?  Well, how had I found my way here in the first place?  I peered through the opening and saw the brightness that awaited me outside.  I somehow knew it was time.  I thought myself forward and so I moved.

On a whim I moved forward about 10 feet and turned to look at my mossy room.  There was nothing there.  Nothing.  I some how knew it was there, but I just wasn't seeing it.  So I turned back and once more moved forward.  The air was neither hot nor cold.  There was no wind.  I drifted slowly forward, or at least what I thought was forward.  There was no sun, but the light was brilliant.  I stopped and listened and I heard nothing.  Was I the only one here?  Wait!  I found mother because I thought of her.  The same with Jake.  Sysnyck and Charmin had come from my subconscious.  So I stopped.

I closed my eyes and I though of my late husband, Kenny.  I saw his brilliant blue eyes and I heard his laughter.  And there he was!  He was exactly as I remembered him, but without the oxygen.  He wore his Levi's and a tee shirt.  This one was red.  Red had always been my favorite on him.  He smiled and then laughed.  "It sure took you long enough to get here!  I have a bone to pick with you."

"Oh, great.  now what?  I thought we would at least have a little time to visit.  It has been 15 years you know.  Don't you wonder what I have been doing?"

He smiled at that.  "Silly girl.  I peeked in on you from time to time.  Kind of surprised me that you never married again.  I thought that tall guy from St. Louis was going to get you cornered, but then he died.  Too bad.  Nice the way he changed his thought process and left you all that money to take care of people with.  And you made good use of it.  Helped a lot of people."

I smiled.  "That was fun.  I wish I could have spent my whole life spending money on other people, but you know how that goes."

"Sure do!  But here is the deal.  Remember when we made our will, and we had DNR's written up and then when I died you could not find mine and you know how that turned into a royal mess.  I was really mad when I woke up alive.  I had died and it was great and then all at once I was jerked back to earth and had all those tubes and stuff....I was so mad at you that I could have throttled you.  You know that don't you?"

"Yes" I said sadly, "but I was so upset that morning that I could not think straight.  I did not know that you were already dead.  No one told me.  I thought they were just asking as a precaution."  I stopped and remembered that morning long ago.  Then he smiled.

"Well, here is the thing.  I think it was the best thing for me.  That way I had time to think back on my life and to come to terms with every aspect of it.  Some was good, some was bad, but it gave me time to put it all in perspective.  And then when I did die for real, it was so much easier.  Leaving the earth, the kids, the grandkids was hard, but it was time.  By that time letting go was easier."

"I just went to sleep one night and never woke up the next morning.  Sure glad nobody found me and stuck me on a machine."  I looked at him, but he already knew how I had died.  Probably knew it before me!

"Yep.  That's the way to do it alright.  So what are you going to do all day?"  He looked at me quizzically.

"I don't know!  I have so many questions.  Is it always day?  Is it ever night?  Does it rain?  When will I see people?  Do we eat?  Where do you live?  Will we still be married?  Are there angels?  Have you seen your mother?  Have you seen my mother."  I stopped when I realized he was no longer there.  I had not seen him leave.  He just sort of wasn't there anymore.

I thought about my new home and was surprised to find I was in it and my dog and cat were at my feet.  This afterlife is sure taking some getting used to.

#3 Welcome to the hereafter. rerun

Slowly I opened my eyes and my first thought was, "That was one helluva ride!"  I had no concept of time, nor place.  As I looked around I seemed to be in some sort of glen.  Now I have no idea what the definition of "glen" is, but it seemed to fit this place.  There were very soft bushes everywhere I looked and I stood on a blanket of soft green that appeared to be moss of some sort.  I also seemed to be completely alone.  This was weird, but not a bad weird.  The world I had lived in was always moving and always sounds of some sort.  There was no sound at all.  Wow!  All my life I had suffered from tinnitus and now it was completely silent.  No ringing in my ears!  This dying stuff might not be so bad at all!  At least that problem was gone.

I needed to take stock of my situation.  Having never been in this position before, I had no idea what was expected of me.  My concept of death, if that was what I was experiencing now, was not this at all.  I was supposed to just die and my soul would immediately raise up to heaven and I would meet Jesus and see my mother and be reunited with my brother and sisters and live happily ever after.  I was not real sure that dad was going to be there, but that was not my call.  At no point had I ever envisioned this little  green glen, but here I was.  Surely I was not expected to just set here for eternity.  Where was that Jesus any way?  

I had no concept of time.  Was it still my first day?  What exactly was expected of me at this time?  One thing was for sure, I was at a loss!  For the first time in my adult life, I had nothing to do.  I had no one to tell me what to do.  And from the looks of my surroundings there was not much I could do in this mossy little glen.  I could think.  But what was I supposed to think about?  I had fully expected that upon my death I would be whisked up to the pearly gates with the trumpets heralding my coming.  The gates would swing open and the angel guards would look in the book and there would be my name!  Louella Beth Bartholomew.  Daughter of Christine Josephine Haas.  Grand daughter of Josie Emma Haas.  Great granddaughter of Helen Gagnebein.  I would walk inside.  I would approach the throne and all my ancestors would be there to welcome me!  

But most important of all, Jesus would open his arms and welcome me.  "Come my child.  Your labors are over.  You are home."

Instead I sat here all alone not knowing what to do.  Lou Mercer was at a loss.  That was a definite new wrinkle.  I had always been the problem solver, the go to person, the leader, and the one who could be counted on in a pinch.  Well, one thing for sure, I needed to get my shit together and figure this out.

So I leaned back against something and stretched my legs in front of me.  Now you understand, I do not actually have legs or a back to lean with, but this little warm glow that I now am is going to take some getting used to!  So bear with me.  

There were no signs that anyone had been here before me, but then a warm glow does not leave footprints in the moss.  If I were home and watching Jeopardy! this would be a perfect nap.  I do not remember the last time I actually stayed awake through that program.  It was kind of a joke that at 3:00 every afternoon, I watched Jeopardy! on the little television behind my eyelids!  But I must remember, that this position I am now in, is not a laughing matter.  I am all alone in this great universe and something is expected of me, and I do not know what it is.

#2 What the hell! (rerun)

My mind raced back to the night before.  I had gone to bed early because I was tired.  Icarus was snuggled against my back and Daisy lay on the rug beside the bed.  They were looking at me funny.  As I watched, Icarus looked at Daisy and they both left the room headed outside.  Now something was not right here.  How could I watch them if I were asleep?  Wait!  I was not asleep, but my body was.  Oh! crap!  Something was sure different here.  Slowly the realization came to me.  I was dead!  I was stone cold dead.  Funny, I did not feel dead.  Actually felt pretty damn good!  My hip didn't hurt at all.  I wasn't cold or anything.  I just was.  That was strange.  I had always thought that when the time came I would be whisked away up to heaven or jerked down below, but here I was in my own bedroom looking at myself laying there in the bed like I was asleep.

I am going to look in the mirror and see what I look like!  Let me just scoot over here in front of the mirror.  Oh, I see I do not scoot, I float.  Whoa!  I was drunk once and thought I was floating, but I threw up when I tried floating.  Oh, wow!  This is so cool.  I just have to think where I want to be and I am there.  I can see this is going to be fun!  I finally got my eyes turned in the right direction and there was the mirror.  Well, I should have cleaned that sucker when I was alive!  Little late now.

Hmmm.  No reflection.  I must be a vampire.  No, wait.  I am over there in the bed so I can not be over here.  If I look real close I think I can see a warm glow.  Oh, this is so cool!  My wrinkled up old body is now a warm glow.  I can not wait for the kids to see this!  Uh oh.  I forgot about those kids.  They are going to be devastated.  I should call them.  Where is that phone?  Oh, there it is.  This floating thing is sure nice.

I can not pick up the phone! How can I call the kids if I have no fingers?  And I see I can not talk.   Well, I can talk, but no one can hear me.  Course there is no one here to hear me anyway.  Well, what am I going to do all day if I can not do anything?  How long have I been dead any way?  Shouldn't I be shooting off to a judgement seat of some kind?  This being dead is going to suck if this is the best it has to offer.

I am just going to float on outside and go look for someone to guide me in this "what to do after you are dead" thing.  Oh, I can just float on up through the ceiling.  Daisy and Icarus on the deck and they do not even see me!  But at that moment they both looked my way and then put their little heads down.  They sensed me, I think.  But I was too busy to give that much more thought. I was floating higher and higher and then in a valley and across a desert and into a forest.  I looked down and I could see the ball that was the earth fading behind me and then coming closer.  Stars sped by on both sides and I did not even worry about colliding with them.  I gave only a little thought to where this journey might end.

Very clearly, my life as I knew it was over and what lay ahead would prove to be the greatest adventure of them all!

#1 Conception of an idea.

I started this over a year ago and was real happy with it, but only published a few entries and then my life took a turn and I dropped it.  Someone called my attention to the fact that I had dropped the ball and so I went back and read what I had published.  I liked it.

I know I now have a different audience, and they have no idea what is going on.  So I am going to republish the first part of this a day at a time which will refresh the earlier audience and give the newcomers a look at what I worked on before.  This time I will try harder to finish it.  Bear with me.

So it begins.



#1 Conception of an idea.


This morning I woke up thinking about my death.  The cat was here.  So was the dog.  But what if I were not?  I tried to envision what my life after death would be and a scenario played through my mind of what it might possibly be like.  I then thought about all the people who have gone before me and what it would be like to see them again.  So I have laid some ground work inside my head of what  will transpire.

You must first realize that this is a complete work of fiction since I am alive and well here on South Road right where you left me.  This is just to let you know when this little link pops up on my facebook page or on the Google site, that my mind has spun out something and you can either read it or not, but I think it will be kind of fun.

That having been said, I am going to publish this and then start my day.  I have put my ideas down and very soon you will be treated to my first installment.  Just try to remember that I am not really dead and we will go from there.

Lou Mercer

Installment 39 Fred

Installment #39

Fred

Fred switched on the miner’s light on his hat. Damn glad he had it on there. Well, it was always on his head except when he was sleeping. You just never knew when you might need a light and right now he sure needed one. This tunnel was black as old Coty’s ….well it was black alright. He took a few tentative steps forward. The tunnel was dark, and damp, and musty. He would have bet there were lots of spiders and centipedes and Lord only knew what. It was hard to believe that just a foot above his head the sun was shining very brightly, because down here it was another world. Well, this was no place to wishy wash about something. Just do it. Sooner you do it the sooner it was done. And Fred, although every fiber of his being wanted to turn and run out into the bright sunlight, pointed his lantern forward and walked determinedly forward.  Something was not right and by God in Heaven, Fred Himes was going to find out what it was and for once in his life, set it right.

He was amazed at how quickly he arrived at the back entrance to the house.  Sure seemed a lot further when he was digging the silly thing. He pressed his ear to the door and listened. Not a sound.  He knew the man was gone, but still the cabin was deathly quiet. Very slowly he eased the door inward. Nothing. Not even a drippy faucet. Absolute silence. Now the door was completely open. He looked around at the kitchen. Not a dish out of place. The towel hung on the oven door handle. The clock hand moved jerkily around. Fred stepped in the kitchen and closed the tunnel door behind himself. He moved stealthily across the kitchen to the bathroom. Empty. Living room. Undisturbed and empty.

There had to be a woman here somewhere. He had seen the man bring her inside. He very slowly opened the bedroom door and peered inside. No one. Fred stared in consternation at his face in the mirror. Where was she? He canvassed the house once more and then his eyes fell on the door beside the door he had come through. The root cellar! That had to be the root cellar. After he had dug the tunnel the man had altered it and instead of coming up the tunnel to the root cellar, he had come up the tunnel to the back door. Why had he changed that? Fred reached for the door and froze.

How many times had he pictured his father doing this exact samething? Only when he pictured his father he also pictured his mother. His dear, dead mother being placed in the wall of the root cellar by his father. How many times had he gone to the root cellar to get beets, or potatoes, or onions. How many times when the tornado sirens were screaming had he and his father gone to the root cellar knowing that was the one place the tornado could not touch. And not once had he even thought about what might be in the wall of the root cellar.

Never once had he dreamt that his dear sainted mother was sleeping her death sleep just a few feet from him and his father. His father knew. He knew all along and never said a word. When Fred had wished his mother would come back to them and voiced that desire to his father, his father had only said, “Quit dreaming, Freddie, if she was coming back she never would have left.”

Fred often wondered what had happened the night she died. Or was it day? He never even  remembered them ever fighting. Just mom looking sad and dad reading the paper. They never talked. How could his father have ever worked up enough emotion to kill his mother? His father and mother were both unemotional people. He stared at the door.  He was going to have to open it and see what was behind it. Slowly he grasped the knob and turned it. Well, not turning. Locked. Locked! That meant the woman, probably Meg Parker was behind that door and she was locked in there. If she was locked in there she was not a willing participant that was clear. He scoured the door frame for a key. None. The man must have the key.

Think! Think! He remembered back to when he dug the tunnel. At that time it had been through the root cellar. Now it was not. He jerked the tunnel door open, took a few steps and reached his hand out and felt the wall. A little further down.  More. There! The dirt was soft. The man had removed the dirt over there, placing it over here. By doing that he had altered the location of the tunnel. Not much, but enough so the root cellar could now be used as a prison for someone. Or a place to bury her. Maybe she was dead. With a furor he never knew he had Fred unsnapped the folding shovel that hung from his waist and began to dig frantically in the soft dirt. Very soon he had a hole through and could see inside the root cellar. All he could see was another wall, but he would be in the room very soon. And like a man fighting for his very life, he continued to throw dirt over his shoulder until at last the hole was big enough for him to slide through.

As he stood up and looked around he saw her clearly. Meg Parker lay on a small cot with a soft cloth on her shoulder. Chloroform! He moved the cloth, but Meg did not stir. Fred was unsure of anything at that moment. As he gazed down at the sleeping woman something stirred in his soul. Something very far back in the deep recesses of his mind fluttered and made him feel wanted. Something made him feel warm. He touched her cheek tentatively, then smiled. Funny, he did not remember smiling in a very long time, but now it felt rather natural. He knew what he had to do and as he reached for
the woman he felt like he had just come home from a very long and bitter war.

Meg Parker. Darling.

Installment #36 Fred

Installment #36

 Fred

Fred shouldered his gun and started across the road following the small deer.. He had come across it behind his barn just as the sun was trying to pull itself up out of the ground.  It was just the size he liked, not too big, but out of its fawn spots. The shot had gone just a hair to one side and not brought it down with a clean shot that he liked. It bolted and ran across the road heading west. Fred was in no hurry because the deer would not go far and his house was just up ahead.

As he started towards Storm Lake Road he heard a vehicle and habit made him conceal himself. He was surprised to see the black Jeep. Today was Sunday and usually when the man was at home he arrived on Friday. Oh, there was someone with him. That would explain him being here now.  He apparently had been partying and now they were just getting home. Fred caught a brief glimpse of the woman as the jeep skidded, slowed and righted itself. That guy must be drunk to drive like that.

 Hey! That looked a lot like Meg Parker. No way. What would she be doing with that weirdo? Nothing, that was what, absolutely nothing. He shook his head and continued following the blood droplets through the forest. The little deer was now headed just slightly down hill. Oh crap! At this trajectory it would end up right at the scar faced guy’s cabin. Well, too bad because he was not going to lose this meat. This was his and nobody was going to take it away. He had spent the last few weeks with only minimal amounts of squirrel and dove meat and this was going to be his feast. The small deer lay at the base of the tree where the telescope was stored. Oh, well.

He quickly took a length of rope from his belt and lashed the deer’s back feet together with one end. Then he took a longer length from his bag on his side and tossed one end of it over a tree branch on another tree. He did not want to leave signs here where the man could find them. Not that it mattered, but why rock the boat? He then returned and dragged the deer to the rope that dangled from the branch. He tied the rope to the trussed deer and began to raise the deer. As soon as it’s head was waist high he secured the rope, took out a very sharp hunting knife and slit the deer’s throat. He did not like to watch this part so he walked away a few yards and looked up the hill at the cabin.

What was that guy doing? He was carrying logs to the rear of the Jeep and now he was putting them in the back. Did he have a fireplace at his place in town? And he could not tell from here, but the woman seemed to be sleeping very soundly. The man slammed the door on the back of the Jeep and went around to the passenger door.  He watched as the man lifted her out and carried her inside. Drunk, no doubt, but she sure looked like Meg Parker from here. But that made no sense. When the door closed behind the man, Fred turned back to the deer. He slit it from sternum to anus and spilled the insides out on the ground for the forest critters. He took an old sheet from his bag and wrapped the deer securely. Now he could carry it back to his barn and finish butchering it. This would be very good venison. But he must do something first.

 He quickly climbed the tree and pulled the telescope into position. He zeroed in on the farm below. It was quiet. Too quiet. The dogs were in their yard looking very forlorn. Why had Meg left them outside? How long had they been there? They were always with her, unless she was not there. He looked back at the cabin behind him and saw the man hurrying to his Jeep. He watched as he jumped quickly inside and drove away. Why would a man with a woman inside leave like that? Fred did not know. What Fred did know was that the tunnel that led to the house was right over there. And he also knew if the woman inside the cabin was Meg Parker , she was in trouble. He also knew that the very thought of entering that tunnel scared the bejesus out of him.

That tunnel would be just like the root cellar where his mother had spent so many years entombed by a man he called his father. The man was gone. He could walk right across the yard and see what was going on inside. But how would he get in the house? Right back to the first solution. The tunnel led to the house and into the kitchen. He was going to have to go through the tunnel. And he was going to have to do it very soon. The man would be back, of that he was sure. With a sad glance at his beautiful deer, and another down the mountain where he saw the Jeep now passing the Parker farm, he climbed down the tree and headed for the entrance to the tunnel. His lips moved in silent prayer as he opened the door and stepped inside.

Installment 34 Meg

Installment #34

Meg

Meg awoke well before dawn. She stretched in the dark
and began to organize her thoughts. She did not need to turn
on the computer this morning because it was not here. This
was a first in a long time. No reason to hurry into the office.
No eBay, no redranger, no computer. Then she remembered
the other thing that was lurking in the corner of her mind; she
was not alone in the house. Ambrose was downstairs guarding
the front door or something. Or maybe while she slept
someone had come and relieved Ambrose and someone else
would be down there. Well, she was up here in her bed and she
was not ready to go down and face whatever this day would
bring. What day was it?

Let’s see. Denver was Thursday. Friday had been a
recover and feel sorry for herself because she had been stood up
day, and then Saturday brought the detectives and the news that
the man she had contemplated having sex with was married.
Hell, not only married, but missing. The redranger was Jeffery
Eldon Purcell. She pulled the covers over her head as she
realized that today was Sunday. Sunday meant church. But Jack
had told her she had to stay in the house. Well, that was not
going to happen. Somebody had to move the eggs into the
cooler. Somebody had to check the feeders. And today was
Sunday and Sunday and church were part of her routine. Well,
Ambrose better be ready to go to church and gather eggs. She
pushed the covers down and turned and put her feet over the
side of the bed. A quick look at the clock told her it was almost
5:30. The sun would be peeking over the horizon very soon.
Guiltily she remembered that she had not spoken to
Kevin since the first part of the week. She reached for the phone
in the charger by the bed. It was not there. Strange. In all the
activity yesterday she must have left it downstairs. Anyway it
was 4:30 in California and it was Sunday and Kevin liked to
sleep in on the weekend. Well, not that late, but sure not 4:30.
Nobody got up at that time of day. Well, she did, but she had no
life. It was pretty early to go downstairs, but surely Ambrose
was awake and would want coffee. He was guarding her so he
should be awake. She took her robe off the end of the bed and
pulled it on. As she pulled it around her shoulders, she hugged
herself. Tommy had bought this for her and it was very
practical for Colorado mornings, although not a bit sexy. She
stroked the fabric which reminded her of a satin rabbit she had
as a pet when she was very young. Wonder what this fabric is,
other than polyester? Such a general term.

Sliding her feet into her slippers, she ran her fingers
through her hair. She belted the robe and walked across the floor
to the crates. As she opened the door on Daisy’s crate, Daisy
stirred and came out, waiting to have her ears scratched. Elvira
was slower, but the same ritual as Daisy. They waited for their
“getting up treat”. If they had one for going to bed, they also
needed one for getting up. Nothing spoiled about these dogs.
They bounded down the stairs , made a left turn , and
were out the doggie door. Meg made a right turn and walked
into a brightly lit kitchen. But where was Ambrose? Must be in
the bathroom, or maybe asleep on the couch. She glanced
around the kitchen and did not see her cell phone. This charger
was also empty. Where was that phone? Then she saw the note
on the counter. She picked it up and read the few words. “ Meg
Parker. I have been called back to Denver. Everything here is
alright.”
That was strange. He should have woke her up and told
her he was leaving. How was he leaving? He had no car.
Someone must have came and got him. Yes, that was it. Well,
that made two inconsiderate oafs! And the dogs. Why had they
not barked? They barked at every leaf that blew across the yard
and every fox that came within a mile of the place, but men
walking around in the kitchen was nothing to be alarmed about.
She poured the water through the Bunn that she had set
up the night before in case Ambrose wanted coffee. As she took
her favorite cup off the cup rack, she glanced idly towards the
back of the house. Those dogs were sure taking their sweet time
this morning. On cue, she heard scratching at the doggie door.
Scratching? All they had to do was come inside. Nothing to
stop them. She walked through the dining room to the sun
porch. The inside door to the doggie door was firmly in place!
How in the hell had that happened? It was kept beside the
doggie door. As she stared in disbelief she felt a strong arm
around her shoulders and soft cloth on her face. What was that
odor? As her whole body slumped against the warmth of what
she knew not, Tommy’s face rose before her.

Installment #32 Marshall Purcell

Installment #32

Marshall Purcell

He watched from high in the tree as the men knocked on
her door. At first he thought they were visitors, but soon he could
see they were not. And his telescope sure brought that badge
right into focus. Cops. What were they doing with her? What
had she done?
Oh, hell. It was about Jeffery. Jeffery was the redranger.
By now his little wife would surely be worried and looking for
him. That was her meal ticket after all. Of course no one had
seen him in Denver and he was supposed to be working there. So
it was only natural to call and report him missing. Must be a
pretty important guy for them to get right on it like that.

“Oh, yes officers here is his computer. Why no he would
never fool around on me. Look at this, I ask you , would you
leave this home in bed and chase some little trollop around?
Meg? Meg who? Jeffery never knew any Meg. Why she must
be one of the workers on that silly football thing he was hired to
consult about. Well, I do not care about all that silliness! Jeffery
was devoted to me, now just go find him. I don’t need to read
that trash!”

He knew when they went into the house that they were
headed for the computer. Well, they would find no trace of him
there. Nor anywhere in her house. He was too good for that. He
was like a ghost. He could walk in and out and no one ever
would have seen him. Like last night. Oh glory! He smiled at
the memory of last night. The moon was starting to wane so he
had made his way down the mountain. Across her back yard to
her kitchen window. He could see her setting at the table
working a crossword puzzle. He knew she would stay there until
it was finished and he knew the dogs would stay with her. The
radio was playing some old country station. He could hear it
clear out here.

He moved swiftly to the side patio and pulled his special
grappling hooks out of his back pack. Fitting them carefully
into notches he had made several months ago he pulled himself
to the patio roof. Reaching out he caught the railing of the
upstairs patio and swung himself onto the floor. Not a sound. A
ghost. He took the slender piece of steel from his pocket and
jimmied the door. He moved quickly to the bathroom and found
what he was after hanging behind the door. His rough hands
removed the silky nightgown from the hook and he buried his
face in the folds and breathed deeply. Oh, the bliss of her
womanly scent. Not really perfume but a smell that wrenched at
his heart. He shoved the gown into the plastic bag he had
brought for that very purpose. He did not want her smell mixed
with any other smell. This was his euphoria!

He slid the patio curtain to one side and then the other one
the same; just an inch or so. He exited onto the patio, locking the
door behind himself. He slid the garden bench forward just
enough so he could fit behind it if need be. And then he set down
to wait. Soon he was rewarded as he saw the kitchen light go out
and the hall light upstairs shine brightly. The dogs ran into the
bedroom first and sat by their crates to wait. Meg went into the
bathroom to prepare for bed and very soon emerged with a
puzzled look on her face. She lifted the pillow and then opened
the drawer and drew out another nightgown. Glancing once more
at the bed she returned to the bathroom. Soon she came back out
wearing the peach nightgown that he loved so well. It struck her
at mid calf and clung to her as she moved. She gave the dogs
their treats and closed their doors. She flipped on her bedside
light and piled pillows for her back. As she settled in her bed she
picked up her book from the bedside table. But her eyes strayed
to the patio doors.
She noticed the curtains were open, but did not seem
concerned. Did she know he was there? She seemed to be
looking right at him. He stared back at her. Then she stretched
her leg and raised her arms above her head. She was tempting
him! She knew he was there and she was wanting him to come
inside. Well, he wasn’t ready for that just yet! Oh, she would
beg him some day and when that day came, he knew he would
not be able to resist her feminine wiles. First she must stop
behaving like a slut. All that stretching and showing her breasts
outlined by the sensuous peach colored gown. Theirs must be a
union of purity. She must keep her green eyes open. He must be
able to see the green or were they blue? They must not be black.
No! No black eyes would he look into again, ever!
He watched as she drew her knees up and closely eyed her
toe nails. They were not polished. He was glad to see that. But with her setting there
like that he noticed her legs gaping apart. He thought he could
see, what? What? It did not look like she was wearing under
wear! By God she wasn’t! Why that Jezebel was naked under
that night gown! She was naked and him not 20 feet away! But
he would forgive her this once. She did not know he was there,
but he knew she was there. As he watched, she reached up and
turned out the lamp, the book forgotten at her side. She was
going to sleep. As he looked at the dark window he gently pulled
the night gown from the bag and pressed it to his face. They were
going to sleep now. As his eyes grew heavy he felt a small fire
flicker in his loins. They were one.

Hours later when he awoke with a stiff neck, he put the
night gown back into the bag and slowly and quietly climbed
down the same way he had climbed up. And like the ghost that
he was he silently crept across the field and up the mountain,
unseen by anyone or anything, except a shadow on the edge of
the clearing.

Installment #30 Him

Installment #30

Him

Marshall Purcell swirled his drink as he crossed the
room to his recliner. He picked up the remote and switched the
television to Channel 9 news. He sat the drink on the table
beside his chair and went into the bathroom, pulling his tie
loose as he walked. He hung the tie over the chair and as he
removed his clothing, he hung each item on it’s own hanger.
When he was almost completely nude, he hung the hangers on
the hook on the back of the door. The tie was the last item to be
placed there and it went around the collar of his shirt. Just like
it belonged.

He stood in just his boxer shorts in front of the full length
mirror. Slowly he lowered the underwear to the floor and
stepped out of it. He gazed at himself in the reflection. He was
not a bad looking man, other than the scar on his face. His body
was lean and hard. He turned sideways. Well, a little paunch,
maybe. Ok, a definite paunch. And maybe lean and hard was not
the way to describe his body. He had an office job, for crying out
loud. How was he supposed to build muscles setting at a desk all
day long? Surely Meg could overlook a little thing like that. He
thought of Meg and how she looked jogging in her shorts. She
had long legs and moved with a grace few women possessed.
His eyes went to his manhood. It hung helplessly down
and showed no signs of life. That was better. Damn thing better
remember who was boss around here. He pictured Meg setting
on her patio with the dogs at her feet reading a book. He had
been in her home and he knew the kind of books she read.
Historical novels. Romances. His mother had read True
Confessions and Modern Romance. He thought of his mother
laying on the couch reading her magazines, her legs extended;
one over the back of the couch and the other foot resting on the
arm at the end of the couch. He’d seen his mother turn her full
gaze on him. She had dark sultry eyes. Meg’s were blue.

Mother’s skin was very white. Meg’s was tanned from the sun.
Mother’s hair was black. Meg’s was light brown.
Mother smiled at him and laid her magazine down.
“Come here, Marshall. Rub Mother’s shoulders. I am so tight
there.” She sat up and turned her back to him. He swallowed a
lump in his throat and reached for shoulders. He began to knead
the muscles that attached to her neck.
“Yes, mother, you are tight. I can feel it.” She
unbuttoned her shirt and pushed her blouse back so he could
work her muscles on her lower neck. Marshall stared at her
smooth back. His fingers worked the muscles and he could feel
her loosen under his touch. She turned and looked sideways at
him as she fluttered her long eyelashes.

“You are such a good son, Marshall. I love you so
much. Do you remember when you came in the kitchen and
the neighbor man was here?” Marshall could only nod his
head yes. The lump in his throat threatened to choke him.
“Do you know what we were doing?” This time he nodded
no. “Would you like Mother to show you?”

It took everything in Marshall Purcell’s being to slam the
door shut on that memory! That was a door that must never be
opened. That was the one memory he must never let out again.
He did not need to look down to know what was going on down
below. He grabbed his pajama’s and quickly covered himself.
Then he went to his recliner and sat down and grabbed his drink.
He drained the glass quickly and then pushed himself to the
reclining position and closed his eyes tightly. He pictured Meg
Parker jogging. He pictured her alone in the Sheraton. He willed
himself to look at her body. Her naked body! She could save
him! She must save him from his mother. That had been so
wrong. So very evil. He had hated his mother after that day
more then ever before. He had hated her, but he had gone back
again and again. Like an addict. But now, it was just him and
Meg.

Meg would make him forget. Meg was his salvation. He
forced himself to picture Meg as he reached inside his pajama’s
and brought out the object that had offended him so many times.
If he could get through the next few moments with Meg in his
vision and not see mother, he would not need to castrate himself.
So he gritted his teeth and pictured only Meg. He pictured her
naked and spread before him and he licked his lips as he found
his release in Meg Parker.

Installlment #25 Him

Installment #25
Him

Marshall Purcell steered the Jeep Cherokee back onto the
dirt road that would take him back to the Interstate. He had almost weakened but then he
remembered the Jeffery of long ago; the one his mother had loved
instead of him. They were twins, for God’s sake! Why couldn’t
she have loved him just a little bit? It had been downhill ever
since the day he had caught her in the kitchen with the neighbor
man’s dick buried in her. He had tried to tell Jeffery, but he had
told her what he had seen and she had hated him even more.

They may have been born on the same day at the same time, but they were nothing
alike in her eyes. And Jeffery had used it all to his advantage to
get what he wanted. And he was still the same selfish lying little bastard today as he was then. Dad
had seen through him, but even the old man had never had guts
enough to stand up to Mother. So Marshall sucked the hind tit.

Jeffery had been all for the slight detour to check out the
old mine shaft. He was getting paid the same whether he worked
or not so a little time on the side was no big deal. John had not
cared enough to have a car at the airport, so what the hell! It was
a nice drive up the mountain and Jeffery began to relax with
Marshall.

“Well, right after we left Oklahoma I met a great woman
in Brattleboro. Smart, and sexy as hell. Yeah got myself a son
right out of the gate and then twin girls. Judy is a wonderful
mother and life is great, but she is kind of busy so sometimes I
have to take little side trips, know what I mean?” He winked and
laughed. Marshall Purcell looked sideways at redranger and
knew exactly what he meant. And he knew this side trip would
be ending up with Meg Parker bagged and bedded before he
went back East. Well, it would be over his dead body. Well, not
so much his dead body, but there would be a dead body
involved, that was for sure.

They had walked up the short incline to the mouth of the
mine. Jeffery had always been fascinated with things like this.
It was no different now.
“How did you find this place?” “ How far down does
the shaft go?” “We won’t fall in will we? “ Does it have a
barrier? “ And he stayed right behind Marshall.

As they entered the mouth of mine and Marshall
explained, “ I found this quite by accident about a year ago. It
used to have a big fence around it, but it has kind of fallen
down over the years. We will be all right as long as we watch
where we are going. Here, I brought a flashlight.” He
switched it on and handed it to Jeffery.
“You carry it and go ahead. I am right behind you.”

They entered the cavern and Jeffery flashed the light from
side to side and top to bottom, like a little kid. As they went
deeper into the abyss Marshall remembered his
first trip up here and a 17 year old kid named something that he
had picked up on the highway hitchhiking somewhere. That was
all innocent enough until the kid had reached over and put his
hand on his crotch and smiled at him with a mouthful of rotten
teeth.
His response had been instant and deadly. In three
seconds it was over and the kid lay against the door with his neck
broken and his eyes staring vacantly at nothing in particular.
Marshall panicked and dragged the kid out the door and
threw him over his shoulder. He started up the mountain seeking
somewhere to stick the body. The cavern yawned before him and
he entered the opening. He dropped the kid on the ground and
went back to get a flashlight. Soon all was revealed to him and
he had rolled the body over the edge and listened as it bounced
off the wall and then a dull thud as it struck the floor of the mine
and then dead silence.

His mind jerked back to the present as he watched Jeffery
near the shaft.
"OK, Jeff, it is right ahead of you. Get down on
your hands and knees and crawl forward about four feet. Then
you can kind of lean over the side and see all the way to the
bottom. It is straight down, so be careful. Here let me hold your
feet to make sure you don’t slip.”

He sat down and took a foot in
each hand realizing as he did so that they were genuine leather
shoes and no doubt very expensive. “So can you see the bottom?
I got you bro’, don’t worry.”

He felt Jeff strain a little and then heard him say, “My
God! There are bones down there! They look like a human!
Ah shit! There are more than one!” But that was pretty much
the end of that one sided conversation as Marshall Purcell
shoved the feet of his twin brother , Jeffery Purcell over the
side of the mine shaft, leather shoes and all. A brief gasp, a
split second and he hit the wall and then another and he heard
the dull thud as he hit the floor. Marshall stood and dusted off
the knees of his pants. Then he cursed softly as he realized he
would have to buy another flashlight, turned and walked out
into the bright sunlight and headed down the hill to the Jeep.

Installment #24

Installment #24

Him And Eldon

He pulled the Black Jeep into the short term parking at
Stapleton and pulled his ticket from the little box that spit them
out so faithfully. He put it in his pocket and pulled into a
vacant space near the end of the third row. That was luck! It
was going to be his day; Karma dictated it. He strolled through
the door with 15 minutes to spare before the plane landed. He
looked at the bank of greeters holding their signs with names
printed. John, Mary Smith, Eldon. That was the one. He took
a deep breathe and hurried toward the blonde haired fellow in
very casual dress. Name tag. Great!

“Jerry?” He looked the guy right in the eye. “You
waiting for Eldon?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Well, John sent me to do the waiting. Said he needs
you back at the office, post haste. Some kind of problem. Said
tell you to hurry.”
“What’s going on? He told me this was important.! Said
I had to meet this guy and get him there safe and sound. Why
didn’t he call me?”
“Look, I don’t know. He said he tried to call but got a
busy signal, so he said I should get over here and send you
back. What! You think I just happened in here, saw you with a
sign and decided I wanted to pick up Eldon? Do I look nuts?”
Jerry laughed. “Well, when you put it that way……”
He started for the exit. He stopped him.
“Hey, buddy, leave me the sign or we are going to miss
the connection here!” Jerry handed him the sign and walked
away shaking his head.

So now he stood with the “Eldon” sign hoisted high
as the passengers began to stream down the runway.
He spotted the man and recognized the walk. Tall, lanky
guy with a shock of brown hair and steely blue eyes. How long
had it been? Oklahoma. Jeffery. Jeffery Eldon Purcell. He
shuddered as he made the connection between Jeffery Eldon
Purcell and the redranger and Meg Parker. And he cringed as he
lowered the sign and prayed Jeffery had not seen it. Finally he
realized that a prayer of his had been answered as Jeffery
scanned the signs looking for his name. He did not see his name,
but he did see the face of his brother, Marshall Purcell. Their
eyes met and they both realized that this was a chance meeting in
a very unexpected place that neither of them could have
foreseen. Jeffery appeared bewildered.

“Marshall? What are you doing here? Did John send you? Are you meeting me?”
“Jeff! Lord no, I just happened to be killing some time
waiting for a friend to get in from California. What are you
doing here?”
“I have a consulting job here for a company in Denver.
Someone was supposed to meet me, but it looks like I may be
stood up. How long have you got? Can we grab a cup of
coffee and catch up a little?”
“Hang on a sec. I may be stood up myself. Let me
make a call.” He turned away and punched a few numbers in
the phone and then waited.
“Oh, Jane this is Marshall. Are you behind schedule?”
He nodded as he listened to nothing and then said, “Oh, no that
is fine. Something unexpected has come up here on my end. I
will just see you at the apartment this evening…Yeah, honey,
you too.” He closed the phone and turned to face Jeff who had
apparently been listening very closely.
“Wow! Who is Jane? Sounds serious. Are you married?
Living together?”
Jeffery was a multitude of questions. And
Marshall was an enigma with no ready answers. He looked at
his twin brother with a blank look and a mind that was a blur.
He had come to the airport to meet a man named redranger with
the full intent of killing him, but here he stood in the hubbub of
Stapleton International Airport in Denver, Colorado face to face
with his twin brother that he had not seen nor communicated
with in years. Had this been a faceless stranger, it would have
been easy to bull shit his way through, but here was the face he
had grown up with, the face that still looked at him in the
bathroom mirror every morning and many times a day. But a
plan was a plan, wasn’t it?

“Well, Marshall, where are you staying? What are your
plans?” He paused, like he didn’t know what was planned.
“I have some work to do for Higgenboth Architects here
in Denver and that will keep me busy until noon tomorrow and
then I am meeting someone I have been communicating with
online. An old army buddy. Haven’t seen him in years.”

Marshall sighed. Damn liar did not realize that he had
just sealed his fate. No reason to change any plans because this
was his brother. This was the same little worthless piece of shit
that had made his life so miserable when they were still at
home. Telling mom every time he looked cross ways. Really
had the old man eating out of his hand and he had gotten his
hind end beaten more than once by Jeffery’s lies. And he had
tried to tell Jeffery about mom and the dip wad up the street
and Jeffery had just looked at him and went to mom. Another
ass beating. No, Jeffery was no different now and that was too
bad. It would have been kind of nice to have a little family, but
it sure was not this idiot. Brothers should not lie to brothers.
Suddenly Jeffery turned to Marshall. He stared in
wonder. “Your eye! What is that? Did you get an eye? I
thought you just wore that patch. When did you get this? Is it
real?” He actually had noticed something besides himself.
That was a wonder!
“It is glass. Well, not exactly glass, some sort of
artificial combination that looks like a real eye. Doesn’t work ,
but it is set in there so it actually moves a little and at first
glance it looks pretty real. I had this done about four years
ago. Still have the scar, but it isn‘t as pronounced or maybe I
have just learned to live with it. Anyway, it was good of you to
notice the eye.” Marshall stopped and then asked, “How is the
old man?“
Jeffery shuffled his feet then looked at Marshall. “I
don’t know. After you left and mom died he married a real
loser. We moved to Vermont and it was clear that Virginia did
not want me around so I got my own place and they traveled a
lot and we just drifted apart. I assume they are both still
around and still alive cause I have not heard any different.”
“I thought you and him were tight?”

Jeffery laughed in derision. “No way. I watched how he
treated mom all those years and it was all I could do to stomach
being around him. He did not respect her at all. Treated her like
a doormat. All she ever wanted out of him was a little attention
and that was the one thing he was incapable of giving her. Too
damn busy with his work! Hell, when she was dying he didn‘t
even hire any help. Took care of her himself, that is how tight he
was.” Marshall wondered at Jeffery’s devotion to their mother,
but then remembered that mother had always fawned over Jeff,
so that explained that. Really not much sense trying to tell him
any different.
“So, Jeff, want me to give you a lift into Denver? I am
headed that way anyway.”
Little did Jeffery Eldon Purcell realize that this might be the last
decision he was ever to make on this earth.
“Sure! Beats hell out of walking.” They smiled as they
started for the exit at Stapleton International Airport, but for
totally different reasons. Marshall put his arm around the
shoulder of his brother who was seven minutes younger than
him and gave him a playful hug.
“Well, I bet you like to think so anyway!” They laughed.

Installment # 22 Him

Installment #22
Him

He stood with his back to the closed door and felt the
sweat pour down from his head and arm pits. He was not ready
for this! Why had she come up here? Why was she in his yard?
This was his home and she had found him. She appeared so
innocent, but he knew better! Never knew this house was here?
Who was she trying to fool? This house had been here for years.
Years! She was snooping around and he had caught her. Did she
know about his tunnel? Did she know about his tree? Did she
know he watched her? Maybe she was watching him watching
her! Women! Nothing but treacherous bitches, every one of
them. Even that stupid Jennifer. Always making coffee and
tidying things. Damn feather duster. What was it with the
cleaning all the time? Her job was to run the office, not get in his
way.

He peered out the window and could not see any sign of
the woman. She must be gone. She had to be gone. Of course
she was gone. She was probably down there right now on her
farm gathering her eggs. Damn chickens never stopped, did
they? Course not, they were females. Females never stop what
ever they start doing. They would keep laying eggs and Meg
Parker would keep gathering them. Jennifer would keep dusting
and putting her pointed little nose into his business. Maybe he
should do something about her before he did something with
Meg Parker. When he made his move on Meg it would take time
away from the office. Jennifer would be suspicious. She might
come up here. No, she did not know where he lived. She knew
about his apartment in Denver. She knew about the apartment
on Williams, but not about the cabin here in the mountains. She
knew he went somewhere out of town, but not where. Nosey
bitch could probably figure it out. Get with the accountant and
see where he paid taxes. He shook his head violently. This was
sheer paranoia and he had more important things to concern
himself with right now!

It was now next week and redranger was on the horizon
and headed toward Denver, ready to rendevous with Meg. He
had to figure out how to stop that from happening. Get his
ducks in a row. First, check her email and see what the plan
was. It took so long for the computer to boot up that he
decided to make an exception and have a drink in the middle of
the day. A splash of soda and a splash of Scotch. Well, two
splashes of Scotch. That was better. He settled at the
computer; pulled up her yahoo account. It had been rather
quiet the last few days. No sales at all. A few feedbacks and
finally he saw the redranger. “meg. I will be leaving
Brattleboro, Vermont on Wednesday morning and arriving at
Stapleton early afternoon. John is having a car meet me so I
am good for Wednesday until Thursday. I would like to meet
with you on Thursday and we can spend the whole day
together. I am at the Sheraton and they have a lovely dining
room there. Let me know and we will firm all this up on
Tuesday.”

He hit the “print” button and then the “keep as new
button” It was one thing to hack into her account but she was a
smart woman. Smart and alert. She would connect the dots and
know something was wrong if he started leaving things laying
around or not laying around. Nothing else that was of any
interest to him. But he left the screen up in case she showed any
action. He put a CD in the player and kicked back in his
recliner.

His mind toyed with what to do with the redranger.
Eldon. That was a silly name. He wondered if it was his real
name. Somehow he doubted that it was. He had been around
and he knew what this online stuff was. Guy probably didn’t
even have a job. Just coming to Denver to play around and Meg
was his target. A little weasel that hid in the shadows and played
pretend games because he was afraid of reality. Acted like
something he was not. He would do God only knows what to
Meg and then go back to where ever he came from and never
even think about her again. Well, not while there was life in his
body! No siree! He would save her. He would protect her. A
shimmer of an idea began to form in his mind. Yes, he knew
what to do. Eldon would arrive in Denver on Wednesday.
Today was Monday. He would be ready. Of course he would be
ready. Wasn’t that what he had learned in Viet Nam, to always
be ready? He smiled as he drained his glass and the hot liquor
found the warm place right beside his heart. The heart that
suddenly longed for Meg Parker. He sighed sadly thinking of all
the things he had done and would continue to do for her. He was
sad that she could never know the real depth of his commitment
to her. It would frighten her, he knew. His eyelids grew heavy
and he chortled because he knew he was going to sleep right
there in the chair. And fully clothed as he thought of Meg
Parker standing in his yard, he touched himself and blushed at
the pleasure it brought him. Then his mind went blank with
sleep.

Installment #19 Sunday Morning

Meg quickly made a large blender full of her smoothie recipe, blue berries, yogurt, coconut milk, a fresh peach and wheat germ. She poured it into three glasses, put them on a tray beside the scones and carried them to the patio. The boys were intent on watching the sun creeping up over the horizon.

 “See, Greg. It is not at all like California. Even the colors are different. And see how quick it pops up? Not like California at all.”

 “No, but that is because of the humidity, the colors I mean. Colorado is dry.  So the colors are more muted and more reds and oranges. California has humidity so they appear brighter and there are more greens and blues. Ask anyone. Google it. And it pops up because the mountains are there. California is flat. So it goes down real slow.”

 They turned and looked at Meg as if seeking a final opinion. “Yep” was all she said as she picked up her glass, a scone and settled down in the cushioned chair facing the sunrise.

“This is one of the things that keeps me here on this place, right here at the foot of the Rocky Mountains. Heaven on earth. Just ask the chickens.” As if on cue the Rhode Island Red Rooster announced to the world that it was now morning, albeit a bit late. They all laughed. As Kevin set his empty glass back on the tray and dusted the crumbs off his shirt, he turned to Meg with a very serious look on his face.

“Now, mom, you should know how it is with Kevin and I. We have decided to move in together. We have actually found a house we like that is convenient to both of our jobs. When we get back we are going to list his house and I have money from my last home sale, so we are in good shape.”

As an afterthought he added, “ The pub does really well. Especially in this economy.”

Meg digested this little announcement and then smiled. “Well, this is great! I mean really. If one of you were a female, I could throw an engagement party!” She laughed, but the boys did not. “Ok, that is not what I meant to say. What I meant is this, I am very happy for both of you.  I know better than most how hard real love is to come by and I think you two make a great couple. It is a shame that society can not accept, but I think someday they will. Until then, we will just celebrate here at home and I probably will not announce it in church today. Hey!  Let’s just skip church this morning and go into town and celebrate with a lovely lunch!” Church would keep, but Kevin and Greg would not.

They would leave early in the morning and she was selfish. Greg spoke first. “Meg, you will always have a home with us. You are not loosing a son, you are gaining one.” Tears welled up in Meg’s eyes as she silently thanked her God for bringing this kind soul into her son’s life.