#13 A lesson in the hereafter. Rerun

I awoke to an empty room.  Somehow I knew Sysnyck and Charmin were off somewhere, or just not existing at the time.  My first thought was or Rompano and as I thought of him, he appeared.  My mind was a whirl of questions.  Where had I come from?  Where was I going?  Where was my God that I had worshiped  all my life?

Rompano laughed!  “Hey, slow down!  I can only answer one question at a time.  Let me just give you a brief overview and then we can deal with the questions.  Now you know all about the big bang theory?  Well that is sort of true, but who do you think made the big bang happen?  Go clear back to the Genesis 1 verse 1.  What does it say?”

I closed my eyes and recited from memory, “In the beginning was God created the heaven and the earth.”

“Yep!  Picked up a little of this and made a round ball and set it in the middle of nothing.  Well, actually he made several of those before he got it right.  Then he put a big sun right in the middle for those balls to rotate around.  Basic history.  Then he started making people.  He didn’t get that right at first and had to make several prototypes before he made Adam and then Eve out of his rib.  And then up popped the devil! The perfect world was to be no more.  I always got a kick out of how that worked!  Adam was bent on doing what God said and then Eve lured him with that apple.  Well, pretty soon it was all out of control and God decided to wipe it all out and start over.  So he covered the earth with water and drowned everyone except Noah and his bunch….but you know all that!  What you need to know is everyone on this earth today is descended back to that time.”

That boggled my mind!  There were a lot of people walking around and to know they were all the same was more than my mind could grasp. 

Rompano laughed.  “No more history!  You know the basics, so just let me tell you how this works.  You are here.  A lot of your family is here, but some of them have been sent back to try again.  Your oldest sister is now 3 years old and is an only child in a mixed race family.  The last time around we decided she needed to learn empathy for people who were different from her.  Oh, and mothering lessons!  She always resented her brother and sisters in her last life and never felt that her mother loved her, so she could never love her own kids.  Now she has all her mothers love and maybe she can learn to love more than one person at a time.  Or not.  But this lady is really trying, so we will see.”

“So, Rompano, let me see if I have this.  We keep coming here until we get it right?  How many times have I been here?  Will I be sent back?  What do I need to learn?”  Rompano turned to look me full in the face.  He smiled a wry smile and then laughed.

“Oh, girl, you have been here lots of times!  I do not need to tell you what thought patterns you have had to change.  God takes each one of us and works with us over the years to make us perfect.  I will tell you , that you used to be a man and at one point you were in charge of the masses in the gas chambers in Germany under Hitler.  You were very cruel then, but God saw hope for you.  God is so patient with so many.  He rarely ever gives up on anyone.  He just keeps sending them back until they get it right.  Let me show you what you have to look forward to when you are perfect.”

He took my hand and I could actually feel the warmth of him.  As we stood there a bright spot appeared in front of me, but not close.  It had a soft blue glow and I saw figures clothed in white setting before a throne.  The most peaceful feeling came from the tableau before me and I felt love to the bottom of what ever I was.  I wanted to be there.  I wanted to meet the man on the throne!  I wanted to worship him!  It had to be God, but I could not make out his face or figure. 

“Oh, Rompano, how can I get over there?  I want that more than anything ever!”  I was overcome with a longing like I had never known.  There was not even a depth or width to my sorrow.

“Well, dear, you can, but there is a process.  You are not perfect yet.  You have to go back and be born again.  Now, I know you are thinking one thing, but I am thinking another.  Here in the hereafter, being born again means just that.  On earth it just means confessing that Jesus is Lord of all, and being ‘born again’ in the light of Christ.  Here it means you are going back into the world and learn the lesson you missed the other times you were there.  You will be given a new mother or father and you will be born to them in childbirth.  You have been there many times before but in a different form.  I think this time you are going to be rich!  You have managed before to get by with very little and you used it well.  The true test will be if you have lots of money and you still remember the poor people.  Like Mother Teresa.  Remember her?  She had nothing, but she still fed the hungry.  Money corrupts and with money comes power. Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.   I think we will see how that works for you.”

I wanted to ask him when that would happen, but he was gone.    I needed to think about this.  Born again?  Would I have a part in who I was born to?  How did this work?

#12 The annual meeting. rerun

I awoke with a sense of anticipation.  Something was different!  Sysnyck and Charmin were not with me.  That in itself was strange, but not troubling.  They had found me on their own and they would be back of that I was sure.  I hurried to the opening and to my amazement the area was filled with people none of whom I recognized and yet I somehow felt I knew them all.  One thing was sure, we were all in the same place for the same reason.  I did not see where they could have come from and as I turned to my mossy little room, I found it was not there!  So were all these people living around me and I could not see them?  This was indeed strange.

I found a man with whom I felt a complete sense of peace.  He was wearing a pair of bib overalls and sporting a full, gray beard and a head of frowzy gray hair.  As I approached him he turned and looked me full in the face.  I was astounded to see his  eyes that were neither hazel nor blue and yet were both hazel and blue.  My mothers eyes!  The high cheekbones!

"Grandpa Haas?"  He smiled and as he smiled I could hear angels sing.  What the hell?

"No, my child, but you are close.  I am your great grandfather.  I brought your grandfather to Ellis Island when he was but a wee lad."  My heart sang.  'Wee Lad'.  That was Scottish or Irish or something I knew ran through my veins.

My great grandfather.  I felt so very safe with this man.  I could feel the bond in the bottom of my soul and as I was enveloped in a sense of love like one I had never known I could see and feel the ship landing at the pier at Ellis Island.  I could see the long hall teeming with humanity.  I could see my grandfather in his bib overalls holding the hand of an older girl I felt to be his sister.  An older brother I recognized as Uncle Goll.  No, that would be a great uncle.  As I watched the rag tag lot of them making their way down the hall, my heart was swollen with love for these people who I did not know, but knew that I would learn of them through the history of our family.

Christoph Adam Haas would someday be my grandfather.  I would not remember meeting him, but I would live with his wife who was my grandmother Josie Emma Miller Haas and my Great Grandmother Helen Gagnebein Hatfield.  My heart was swollen with love for this family who had traveled so very far to the shores of the United States of America.  I stood very close to my Great Grandfather as he reached down and rested his hand on my shoulder.  I felt very young and vulnerable at that moment.  I was beginning to get the hang of this being whatever age I needed to be at any given time.  But the crowd was beginning to swirl and seperate and then come together as I clung to my grandfather.

A hush fell over the crowd as a voice spoke.  It was not loud, but everyone seemed to hear it and obey.  As a name was called all the members of that family name seemed to be circled by a golden rope that was completely ethereal.

"Johann Jacob Haas of Dettengin, Germany!"  My great grandfather straightened with pride.  I saw my group being circled with the golden lasso.  Mother, Jake, Grandma Haas, Uncle Goll, Josephine, Mary, Dorothy, Aunt Mabel.....  I clung to my great grandfather.  The reading of the names was soon over and I found myself alone as the reading of another list began.

 Delbert Bartholomew, Reuben Bartholomew, Earl Duane Seeger.......I soon knew this was the list for the next 50 years.  The ones who had gone before that disappeared and I found myself now standing with my family I had grown up with.  This was a smaller group. I somehow knew this list would soon narrow down.  The whole process was not taking long and soon I found myself alone.  I was apparently the last one to pass in my family.

And then I became "aware".  There was no other way to explain it.  I knew that this was the supreme beings way of knowing who was here and who was not.  I suddenly understood it all.  We were all here all the way back to the beginning of time.  The judgement would come some time in the future.  In the meantime, we all existed on a plain of time that was sort of a holding pattern.  This was how it was.  We could roam and do what we wanted.  We could visit.  We could probably even play games if we so choose, but we were here until the judgement day.  Maybe there was a place that I could go to find out all this stuff.  The thought had no more then occurred to me when a small, light blue cloud appeared to me.  To my amazement, it appeared to be a woman, but spoke as a man.

"Welcome!  I am Rompano.  I am your guide in the hereafter.  I will answer all your questions and guide you along the path to your salvation.  Are you ready?"

And with that statement, I realized I was in my mossy little room and it was time for my nap. 

#10 Past, Present, or future? rerun

Once more the thought of a walk intrigued me.  The last one had taken me to the Rainbow Bridge.  This time I wanted to just see the lay of the land and kind of explore.  It was amazing that if I were in the land of the living, I would be faunching at the bit to have lunch with one of my friends, solitude did not seem to bother me at all in this place, what ever it was.  It could not be heaven, because there were no angels.  And since I had never seen heaven, how did I know it wasn't heaven.  Best not to think too much.

Since I had gone forward the last time I decided to go to my right this time.  I walked (floated) up a gentle incline and then down the other side.  I came upon a house and was surprised to find it was a replica of my house on 5th Street in Hutchinson.  Why that place had been bulldozed years ago.  The last time I drove out 5th most of the houses were gone.  Hmm.

 I entered the house and was surprised to find it the same as it had been when I worked at the Red Carpet!  Oh!  There was that doll house that Gib and I had put together right after I had moved into the house.  The first Christmas.  No tree, so it must be past Christmas.  I peeked in the bedroom and there were the bunk beds.  Patty and Dona were asleep all wrapped up in each other.  Debbie was on the top bunk and Sam on the other bottom bunk.  One was empty.  That was because Patty and Dona always slept together.  Dona had her piece of one of my slips in her hand and was sucking on her thumb.  She sucked her thumb and Patty twisted her own hair.  That is how they slept.  I could brush Patty's hair and she would fall asleep.  Silly little girl.

I realized that I was in the past!  If I could stay in the past, I could change the things that had happened!  It was surreal to be here and yet not be here.  I wanted to touch my babies.  But what could I touch them with?  I was not real.  They were not real and yet they were the exact same as I remembered them.  I hurried to the back window.  The old black Ford was there.  The one with the floor board rusted out on the drivers side.  OMG!  I realized I was pregnant!  Susie was still in my stomach.  My heart wrenched as I stood in my past and knew it was all beyond my control.  It was overwhelming and I needed the security of my room.  In a perfect world I would have still been in Garden City with my husband, but the world is not perfect and I am not in it any more.

I opened the back door and stepped outside.  I heard music and knew it was coming from down the street where Crow Bar was located.  I turned back to the house, but it was gone.  I walked down to the bar, opened the door and went in.  There he set with Jake.  A blonde haired stranger.  Beautiful blue eyes.

"Hey, Louella!  over here.  I have someone I want you to meet.  This is Duane Seeger.  He works for  the Tree Service man."  And my life was never the same.  We were married 3 weeks later.  Five kids later, a divorce, both remarried, years later and it all was like yesterday.  And then I was on the knoll and then in my mossy little room.  In my room I did not have to think.  I did not have to remember.  I could just be.

I knew if I left the room and went forward I come to the Rainbow Bridge.  If I went to my right, I went into the past.  Which way had I gone to see Bret?  I hadn't.  I had just thought, so if I wanted to see the future, I thought about them and I was in their present.  Where was the future?  I am apparently existing on 3 different levels, past, present and future.  It was more than my little mind could comprehend, so I did what I do best...I fell asleep.



















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#7 An outing of my own! rerun

I stretched out my arm and found Sysnyck.  The other hand found Charmin.  I was amazed at how content I was.  I was alone in wherever I was, but I was happy.  Was this how it would always be?  I thought back to my visit from Mother and my visit from Jake.  That had been nice, but was that all there was to this?  Just set here, take naps and wait for someone to visit?  I wondered, if I left my mossy little room how  would I find my way back?  Well, how had I found my way here in the first place?  I peered through the opening and saw the brightness that awaited me outside.  I somehow knew it was time.  I thought myself forward and so I moved.

On a whim I moved forward about 10 feet and turned to look at my mossy room.  There was nothing there.  Nothing.  I some how knew it was there, but I just wasn't seeing it.  So I turned back and once more moved forward.  The air was neither hot nor cold.  There was no wind.  I drifted slowly forward, or at least what I thought was forward.  There was no sun, but the light was brilliant.  I stopped and listened and I heard nothing.  Was I the only one here?  Wait!  I found mother because I thought of her.  The same with Jake.  Sysnyck and Charmin had come from my subconscious.  So I stopped.

I closed my eyes and I though of my late husband, Kenny.  I saw his brilliant blue eyes and I heard his laughter.  And there he was!  He was exactly as I remembered him, but without the oxygen.  He wore his Levi's and a tee shirt.  This one was red.  Red had always been my favorite on him.  He smiled and then laughed.  "It sure took you long enough to get here!  I have a bone to pick with you."

"Oh, great.  now what?  I thought we would at least have a little time to visit.  It has been 15 years you know.  Don't you wonder what I have been doing?"

He smiled at that.  "Silly girl.  I peeked in on you from time to time.  Kind of surprised me that you never married again.  I thought that tall guy from St. Louis was going to get you cornered, but then he died.  Too bad.  Nice the way he changed his thought process and left you all that money to take care of people with.  And you made good use of it.  Helped a lot of people."

I smiled.  "That was fun.  I wish I could have spent my whole life spending money on other people, but you know how that goes."

"Sure do!  But here is the deal.  Remember when we made our will, and we had DNR's written up and then when I died you could not find mine and you know how that turned into a royal mess.  I was really mad when I woke up alive.  I had died and it was great and then all at once I was jerked back to earth and had all those tubes and stuff....I was so mad at you that I could have throttled you.  You know that don't you?"

"Yes" I said sadly, "but I was so upset that morning that I could not think straight.  I did not know that you were already dead.  No one told me.  I thought they were just asking as a precaution."  I stopped and remembered that morning long ago.  Then he smiled.

"Well, here is the thing.  I think it was the best thing for me.  That way I had time to think back on my life and to come to terms with every aspect of it.  Some was good, some was bad, but it gave me time to put it all in perspective.  And then when I did die for real, it was so much easier.  Leaving the earth, the kids, the grandkids was hard, but it was time.  By that time letting go was easier."

"I just went to sleep one night and never woke up the next morning.  Sure glad nobody found me and stuck me on a machine."  I looked at him, but he already knew how I had died.  Probably knew it before me!

"Yep.  That's the way to do it alright.  So what are you going to do all day?"  He looked at me quizzically.

"I don't know!  I have so many questions.  Is it always day?  Is it ever night?  Does it rain?  When will I see people?  Do we eat?  Where do you live?  Will we still be married?  Are there angels?  Have you seen your mother?  Have you seen my mother."  I stopped when I realized he was no longer there.  I had not seen him leave.  He just sort of wasn't there anymore.

I thought about my new home and was surprised to find I was in it and my dog and cat were at my feet.  This afterlife is sure taking some getting used to.

I will show you how simple this can be!

This is one of the signs we used 2 years ago at a march against Monsanto.  Finally got a an initiative on the ballot to label our food.  Course you know what happened...big business flooded our little state with advertising for a "NO" vote.  Sad little farmers cleaned up and in their white shirts and cowboy hats explained how if this measure passed, they would have to spend soooooooo  much money for storage and labels that they would go broke and the prices at the grocery stores would sky rocket and they were just trying to make a living while keeping our costs down.   The end result was that almost 70%  of the voters bought that crap.  So now we are back to the drawing board, but I have a better idea.

This is a bag of chips I bought at Whole Foods, or Vitamin Cottage or Natural Grocers or what ever name you know them by up on 29th.

See.  Gluten Free, Natural Foods right there on the front of the package.  Boulder Canyon Natural Foods.  Cost me 99 cents.  But look down here in the corner.

See that little sign in the lower right hand corner?  That says "NON GMO Project Verified.  These are damn good chips, but the packaging is to die for.  They had me on the front of the package, but when I turned it over, it was love at first sight!  I don't have to dig out my list and see if this stuff has been violated by the same people who make agent orange. and expect me to eat corn that makes a worm hemmorage and die.

Starting on the top left and reading to the right are all these bits of info that I need to make an informed decision about what I am putting in my mouth.  All Natural, Non GMO Project Verified, No Trans Fat, No Cholesterol, No MSG, Certified Gluten Free, Kosher, Vegan, We Use Green Energy.  Of course the list of ingredients lists everything inside the bag.  What more could we ask for?

Now I realize we can get another ballot initiative on in a year or so, but that would just entail millions of dollars in advertising and there are people who vote the best ads and we know it.  So wouldn't it be nice if the products that were NOT Genetically Modified or  GMO as we know them would clearly label them as such?  There are lists of companies which use GMO's readilly available on the Internet, but those need to be carried with you.  It would be so much easier if the companies voluntarily did this.  Oh, I am hoping, because I am a lazy girl and this makes my lot in life much easier.  

So instead of haranging my congressman who really does not give a shit about what I want, I think I will start putting kind words in the big companies ears.  I know the grocery stores are beginning to pay attention to us and are stocking thier shelves with non-GMO products.  I shop that way.

Remember, it is your body and your children depend on you to keep them safe, so lets take back our world, but for now I am sleepy so I am off to bed.

Peace and Happiness!

ColorSplash Paintball 2403 Santa Fe Drive,is way more than that!

I have a step daughter named Jackie Chacanaca who calls me 5 mornings a week to check on me.  I am fine the other 2, apparently.  Any way, after the call she is off to work at her business in Blende, out here on the Mesa.  I am sure you have driven past it on your way into town. You probably never stopped because you are not into Paintball, but the bottom two lines should have got your attention if you have wee ones in school and they need a uniform.  That is what makes the machines rattle!  And I sometimes get to go in early and help her.  That is what happened yesterday.

She called at 6:00 AM and she was already at the shop so I grabbed coffee and headed her way.

Ah, shit!  There is stuff piled every where!

All 6 machines are hammering away embroidering more jackets for me to trim and snip the threads. 

Lord help me! 

The front of the shop is very neat and orderly and pretty well stocked.  She does uniforms for lots of the schools and has a very quick turn around and is priced reasonably.  She not only does school uniforms, but also for the different sports teams.  She is working on carrying scrubs as well.  Needless to say, she is also looking at expansion so we don't have to work back there in the tiny sweat shop area.

This is the painball area which draws the kids, both big and little and those that wish they were in.  She has a field out by the airport which is open on most weekends.  Be sure and call first to be sure.

Oh, Irene is here to help me!  I will be out of here and back home by 8:30.  Hooray!

Floor is cleared!

Boxes are packed.

And I am out of here, but leaving you with  (click on the underlined part)  a link to the sweatshop

Peace to you all, I am sleeping in tomorrow!!