I have action on the dating sight.

Alright I have gone online with the picture of a Llama as my profile picture and I have had 3 men who are interested.  I mean really interested.  First guy is a drop dead gorgeous bad boy from Scranton, Pennsylvania.  He is a widower, younger than me, with a 23 year old son.  He lost his wife in a tragic accident when the child was one year old.  How sad.  He realizes that we are far apart, but a few thousand  miles should not matter when two people really care.  Man I could drown in those eyes.  He could move out here.  I own my home, we could be very happy.  Wait a minute!  He is madly in love with a Llama?  No mention of why I do not have an actual picture of myself. 

So on to number 2.  No picture on this one.  He is from Puerto Rico.  Would I send him a plane ticket so he could come and meet  "a very fascinating woman who could possibly replace my dear wife who died an untimely death in a car crash when the child was a mere year old".  Am I getting a little da javu here or what?

And now to number 3 which is one I must quote almost word for word.  For the record, my profile name is Mountain Momma.  Had to be something!  "My very dear Mountain Momma.  When I read your profile I immediately felt a connection to you.  I am a single man who raised his son all alone after my wife who I loved dearly, his mother died a very ugly death in a tragic accident when the boy was one year old.  Please send me airfare so we can meet and talk. I would be happy to pay you back, but I want first to see that you are a sincere woman and not one after my money, of which I have very much."

OK, I can see how this is going.  I think some where in the bowels of a prison somewhere, there is a fat, balding man hunkered down behind a boiler in a basement with a lap top in search of lonely women.  So I reported all three of these jokers to security on the web site.  Now we will see if anything happens.

Kind of disappointed that this is the best they have to offer.  See I thought there would actually be some one out there that might actually want to meet some one to maybe spend a little time with.  Maybe dinner and if I got really lucky, dancing.

But for tonight I think I will not worry about this and wait and see what tomorrow brings.

Well, I had a picture of a pie back there...

For some reason Google and Picassa are conspiring against me.  First there was no pie and now there is no picture of a Llama.  But just use your imagination and picture a Llama there above this paragraph.  They will get it fixed soon.

Alright, this is my profile picture!  Now granted I do sort of need a shave and maybe I do look a little bit long in the tooth, but I tried posting a pie and that did not work.  So we will go with this.  I just put this on match.com or some such site about ten minutes ago.  I do not know how long it takes to "hit the streets", so to speak, but we will be wiser a little later on today, maybe.

Now, I am willing to bet that I can catch a man with this picture.  I could be wrong.  And I did add the sentence "This is not my real picture, nor is it close.  But let me see what kind of response I get and when we meet I will tell you why I did this."

See, you people reading this know what kind of person I am, but these men do not. They will either look at it an immediately dismiss me as a fruitcake, or they will see this as the ploy it is.  Of couse some of them are going to think it is my real picture and some of them will think I must really be a dog to post a picture like that.  At least this will give me something to think about.  And I can buy a little time before I have to actually meet a stranger and try to interact with him.

Ok, today is Friday lunch with Tim day and I got a lot of work to do before then.  So, as soon as I know something, you will know something.  Who knows, I may not get a single hit.  Then my hard earned money will be completely wasted.

Have a good one!

Delilah!!!  If you are out there, please give me a call.  You neglected to give me your new number,  and when did you move?  Is there something I should know?

Profile to catch a man...

This is going to be my profile picture.  At least until I can find that picture I had taken in my senior year.  Hey!  I am a senior and it was a senior picture!  I still look pretty much the same.  Sort of, any way.  So here is my profile as I am going to publish it.  I am getting all excited here.

That is not really my picture, but just see what is in store for you!  Lots of dessert!  I am an early to bed, early to rise kind of gal.  I can usually be found around the house in my jeans or cut offs, but if you have  a high class event that requires a lady on your arm and I am there.  Clean me up and I look damn good.  I can hold a conversation with the man on the street or the man that owns the street.  My friends range from the druggies in rehab to the auto worker in Detroit; from the waitress in the coffee shop to the Governor of the state; from the AIDS client to the CEO of the bank.  I can make you laugh or I can make you cry.  I have never met a human being that I did not connect with on some level.  I would love to join you for a cup of coffee and let's just see how that goes.

There you go.  Does that sound humble enough?  Seems pretty honest?  Forgot to tell them that the only time I have free is the block of time from 6:30 to 8:00 on Sunday evening, but they will figure that out.  I will leave this up for 24 hours and you let me know if I need to change anything. 

(Personal note to Joe..Hey man!  You snooze, you lose!)

Getting a little feed back here.

July 25, 2011  5:16 AM

  Last night I asked for help and I neglected to tell you that I will be publishing your emails and comments verbatim.  Not to worry though because this is all cut and paste so your name will not appear anywhere.  Unless of course, you want it to.  Just let me know.  And so,

  Got my first correspondence last night.  So now I need to figure out how to work this wonderful personality into my profile, me being humble and all.  But more importantly....Who in the hell is Joe!!  I could have saved $120.  (Idley wondering if there is a man out there worth that investment.)

OMG Lou the description of the male you are looking for is Joe lmao Talk about interesting evening conversation U forgot to add that U have a WONDERFUL personality and give a laugh every few minutes. I love you so you are not bad at all ( I am pretty picky lol )

7:09 AM

Well, I see the website is screwed up now that it is new and improved, so I am going to very quickly post this and wait and hope they fix it, assuming I can post this.

Recieved this comment this morning:

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "To hell with Delilah, I want a little action here!...":

first thing about the humble part are you for real,:) J/K

#5 okay now you are making yourself out to be only a homemaker. And I know that you have a high society life. but gots to admit you can truely cook. Through a mans belly straight through the heart. Their gonners.


Posted by Anonymous to Delilah' s Dating Dilemma at July 25, 2011 5:47 AM

Well, thank you there anonymous, but for the record, if I am high society the world is in trouble.  Had a guy tell me once "You can pass for class until you open your mouth and that illusion is gone!"   And he sure as hell ain't around any more!

Gotta hit the publish button real fast and see what happens.

To hell with Delilah, I want a little action here!

  Well, I just happened to notice that little Delilah has sort of fallen short of the mark here, so this is what is going to happen.  I wanted to find out what Internet Dating was all about and I intend to do just that.  Delilah may pop in from time to time and give us an update, but in the meantime we, meaning me and whoever else out there has got the guts to do this, are going to do just that. 

 Now, I done checked around and she was right, this is a pricey little venture here.  Got a special for $19.95 for the first 6 months and that is paid in advance.  So I got $120 invested here and we are out to catch me a man!  Now the first thing I had to do was give them my email, age, location and stuff like that.  Now I need to write a "profile".  A profile means I have to tell these men what it is I have to offer them.  Not money cause the business office done got that.  So let's put our heads together and make this sound good.  I am going to throw something out there, much like a baited hook and you are going to read it and offer suggestions.  Hey!  I am not going to do this alone, so hang on kiddies, we are in for a bumpy ride!
 Let's answer these questions.  Feel free to throw in your 2 cents worth at any time.

1.  Height...Challenged
2.  Weight to Height proportion....Yes
3.  Sex..Yes
4.  Occupation..Sure
5.  Hobbies..cooking, baking cookies, washing, ironing, cleaning house, mowing the yard, shoveling the walk, washing windows, and generally degrading myself to make some man feel superior.
6.  Favorite song...Let me Entertain you! by Gypsy Rose Lee.
7.  Do you like to walk in the rain?...Hell no!  My mascara would run and that is not a pretty sight!
8.  What is your idea of a perfect first date?..Meet me at the coffee shop and let's see if we make it through the initial meeting. 
9.   What are you looking for in a man?...Well, preferably, one that is breathing, no cold hands, no nose hair, brushes his teeth regularly (or soaks them at night), no long hair (long hair on the pillow will be mine!).  He must have a very good sense of humor, will not be late when picking me up and oh, yeah, the deal breaker is drinking.  Lips that touch wine will never touch mine.  A Pina Colada on occasion or even a Martini every 6 months or so is alright, but wine and me do not get along at all.  I drank 2 quarts of wine  once, had the dry heaves for 5 days,  and still get sick thinking about that.  So, no wine.
10.  What do you expect from this site?...  Well, I know I do not want any diseases.....

Well, that wore me out!  I still got to do a profile which as near as I can tell is just a paragraph telling in my own words what I think of myself.  That should be a  piece of cake.  Tell me what you think here.

"Hi!  My name is Lou and I am a lot younger than that date says I am.  I am perky, although the breasts went south some time back!  I have a great sense of humor and can laugh at you all night long.  I live alone and am a very responsible person.  My bills are usually paid on time, sometimes.  I am active in the community, but not community service like you might be thinking.  If I am out in public and run into any of my kids, they usually speak to me, so you know I am a good mother.  And that is about all I know to say about myself since I am a very humble person.  Oh, I am not drop dead gorgeous by any means, but in the right light (Maybe a crescent moon?) I get by.  I am fairly intelligent.  Well, actually I am damn smart and I ought to know better than what I am doing, but I like to learn by experience.  So come on fellas, let's see what happens.  Oh, and no beer bellies and a tight set of buns is a plus!  Throw in a Harley and you are home free!"

Ok, there is is.  I will hold this profile and questions for two days and wait for some one to help me here.  Leave a comment.  You do not have to leave your name.  And Delilah, if you are out there, please feel free to save me from myself!!

See you in a couple days.