Well, I just happened to notice that little Delilah has sort of fallen short of the mark here, so this is what is going to happen. I wanted to find out what Internet Dating was all about and I intend to do just that. Delilah may pop in from time to time and give us an update, but in the meantime we, meaning me and whoever else out there has got the guts to do this, are going to do just that.
Now, I done checked around and she was right, this is a pricey little venture here. Got a special for $19.95 for the first 6 months and that is paid in advance. So I got $120 invested here and we are out to catch me a man! Now the first thing I had to do was give them my email, age, location and stuff like that. Now I need to write a "profile". A profile means I have to tell these men what it is I have to offer them. Not money cause the business office done got that. So let's put our heads together and make this sound good. I am going to throw something out there, much like a baited hook and you are going to read it and offer suggestions. Hey! I am not going to do this alone, so hang on kiddies, we are in for a bumpy ride!
Let's answer these questions. Feel free to throw in your 2 cents worth at any time.
1. Height...Challenged
2. Weight to Height proportion....Yes
3. Sex..Yes
4. Occupation..Sure
5. Hobbies..cooking, baking cookies, washing, ironing, cleaning house, mowing the yard, shoveling the walk, washing windows, and generally degrading myself to make some man feel superior.
6. Favorite song...Let me Entertain you! by Gypsy Rose Lee.
7. Do you like to walk in the rain?...Hell no! My mascara would run and that is not a pretty sight!
8. What is your idea of a perfect first date?..Meet me at the coffee shop and let's see if we make it through the initial meeting.
9. What are you looking for in a man?...Well, preferably, one that is breathing, no cold hands, no nose hair, brushes his teeth regularly (or soaks them at night), no long hair (long hair on the pillow will be mine!). He must have a very good sense of humor, will not be late when picking me up and oh, yeah, the deal breaker is drinking. Lips that touch wine will never touch mine. A Pina Colada on occasion or even a Martini every 6 months or so is alright, but wine and me do not get along at all. I drank 2 quarts of wine once, had the dry heaves for 5 days, and still get sick thinking about that. So, no wine.
10. What do you expect from this site?... Well, I know I do not want any diseases.....
Well, that wore me out! I still got to do a profile which as near as I can tell is just a paragraph telling in my own words what I think of myself. That should be a piece of cake. Tell me what you think here.
"Hi! My name is Lou and I am a lot younger than that date says I am. I am perky, although the breasts went south some time back! I have a great sense of humor and can laugh at you all night long. I live alone and am a very responsible person. My bills are usually paid on time, sometimes. I am active in the community, but not community service like you might be thinking. If I am out in public and run into any of my kids, they usually speak to me, so you know I am a good mother. And that is about all I know to say about myself since I am a very humble person. Oh, I am not drop dead gorgeous by any means, but in the right light (Maybe a crescent moon?) I get by. I am fairly intelligent. Well, actually I am damn smart and I ought to know better than what I am doing, but I like to learn by experience. So come on fellas, let's see what happens. Oh, and no beer bellies and a tight set of buns is a plus! Throw in a Harley and you are home free!"
Ok, there is is. I will hold this profile and questions for two days and wait for some one to help me here. Leave a comment. You do not have to leave your name. And Delilah, if you are out there, please feel free to save me from myself!!
See you in a couple days.
Now, I done checked around and she was right, this is a pricey little venture here. Got a special for $19.95 for the first 6 months and that is paid in advance. So I got $120 invested here and we are out to catch me a man! Now the first thing I had to do was give them my email, age, location and stuff like that. Now I need to write a "profile". A profile means I have to tell these men what it is I have to offer them. Not money cause the business office done got that. So let's put our heads together and make this sound good. I am going to throw something out there, much like a baited hook and you are going to read it and offer suggestions. Hey! I am not going to do this alone, so hang on kiddies, we are in for a bumpy ride!
Let's answer these questions. Feel free to throw in your 2 cents worth at any time.
1. Height...Challenged
2. Weight to Height proportion....Yes
3. Sex..Yes
4. Occupation..Sure
5. Hobbies..cooking, baking cookies, washing, ironing, cleaning house, mowing the yard, shoveling the walk, washing windows, and generally degrading myself to make some man feel superior.
6. Favorite song...Let me Entertain you! by Gypsy Rose Lee.
7. Do you like to walk in the rain?...Hell no! My mascara would run and that is not a pretty sight!
8. What is your idea of a perfect first date?..Meet me at the coffee shop and let's see if we make it through the initial meeting.
9. What are you looking for in a man?...Well, preferably, one that is breathing, no cold hands, no nose hair, brushes his teeth regularly (or soaks them at night), no long hair (long hair on the pillow will be mine!). He must have a very good sense of humor, will not be late when picking me up and oh, yeah, the deal breaker is drinking. Lips that touch wine will never touch mine. A Pina Colada on occasion or even a Martini every 6 months or so is alright, but wine and me do not get along at all. I drank 2 quarts of wine once, had the dry heaves for 5 days, and still get sick thinking about that. So, no wine.
10. What do you expect from this site?... Well, I know I do not want any diseases.....
Well, that wore me out! I still got to do a profile which as near as I can tell is just a paragraph telling in my own words what I think of myself. That should be a piece of cake. Tell me what you think here.
"Hi! My name is Lou and I am a lot younger than that date says I am. I am perky, although the breasts went south some time back! I have a great sense of humor and can laugh at you all night long. I live alone and am a very responsible person. My bills are usually paid on time, sometimes. I am active in the community, but not community service like you might be thinking. If I am out in public and run into any of my kids, they usually speak to me, so you know I am a good mother. And that is about all I know to say about myself since I am a very humble person. Oh, I am not drop dead gorgeous by any means, but in the right light (Maybe a crescent moon?) I get by. I am fairly intelligent. Well, actually I am damn smart and I ought to know better than what I am doing, but I like to learn by experience. So come on fellas, let's see what happens. Oh, and no beer bellies and a tight set of buns is a plus! Throw in a Harley and you are home free!"
Ok, there is is. I will hold this profile and questions for two days and wait for some one to help me here. Leave a comment. You do not have to leave your name. And Delilah, if you are out there, please feel free to save me from myself!!
See you in a couple days.
first thing about the humble part are you for real,:) J/K
ReplyDelete#5 okay now you are making yourself out to be only a homemaker. And I know that you have a high society life. but gots to admit you can truely cook. Through a mans belly straight through the heart. Their gonners.