Revival of this story coming in 2020!

When I conceived the idea for this story, I was really excited.  Life got between me and the ending I had envisioned, so I wound it down in a rather hurried ending.  Now, I have reread it and become inspired so I am going to work on the story I know is buried deep in my head and more importantly in my heart.

I will of course, continue with my Words of Wisdom.  Those pages are written early in the mornings because I wake up thinking about things that mostly happened in my day to day life and mostly back when I was growing up in a dog eat dog world.

I hope you will follow "The World Is Not My Home" as a purely fictional effort on my part.  You can also sign up to get in sent to your email.  Just go to the left column under the followers.

I look forward to entertaining you in a purely fictional rendering

#19 A new day

I began to rouse myself.  I had no idea how long I had been asleep, if sleep was actually what it was, but Rompano standing beside me.  I raised myself to his level and was disturbed to see that he looked very sad.  I thought of touching him and I could feel his warmth.



“Oh, Rompano, why do you look so sad?”  I could not imagine what could make him sad in this world we were in that had no beginning, no end and not even a now.



“ I have learned something.  I do not know how I learned it.  It just came into my head.  I think that is how we learn here. At least I think that is how, otherwise I would not know this.”



He did not move, but I felt his arms holding me.  And then he began to speak.  “ I am going to be sent back. I am going to be born again into a family in Central Kansas.  Imagine that!  I know nothing of who they are, or why I am going there.  I just know I will be leaving you and that makes me sad.  I have learned more.  I have learned that some people have been together since the beginning  of time.  They keep getting thrown together or finding their way to each other.  Do you think that could be true of you and I?”



I thought a moment and then smiled.  “I think that is possible.  The first time I saw you  I knew you.  You found me here in this place and that is something.  I love you like I have loved you forever.”



“And I you.”  He laughed.  “I do not even know your name.  We don’t really need names here, but I want to give you one.  I want to call you Infiniti.  I do not know if I will remember this when I leave here, but I will know you when I see you.  I will look in your eyes and I will see Infiniti.  We were meant to be together forever.”



Somehow I knew this was true.  I remembered how I had walked into places I had never been and knew where every thing was located.  I knew the people on the street that I had never met.  I remembered hiking a trail near Beulah and I knew I would find the Mountain Sage near the top.  Some people called it dejavu.  I remembered the first time I had met my husband.  I knew him.  I knew we were destined.  I turned to face Rompano, but he was gone.



A strange peace came over me.  I knew I had work to do if I wanted to reach the shining shores and rest in the arms of my sweet Jesus, but I was ready.  As I settled to the softness of my mossy little room with my furry friends beside me I thanked my God for having sent me Rompano.  I knew not what lay ahead, but I did know that somewhere I would find him, or he would find me and together we would work to change the world.

#18 A new day

I awoke to brilliant light filling my mossy little room.  I was surprised to see that Rampano was still there.  I gazed at the place where he lay and felt full of love like I used to feel back in the real world.  I did not know this man, if he was indeed a man, but some how I felt a link and a connection to him that came from deep within.  Now even “deep within” I did not understand since there was nothing to have a within with, but I felt a tie to this little Rompano.



As I watched him sleeping I felt myself in another place.  I did not recognize my surrounding.  The ceiling were high and the trimmings around the ceilings were elegantly carved and painted a brilliant gold.   On closer examination I decided they could actually be gold.  The floors were marble.  It was neither cold nor hot, but rather just a temperature that was completely moderate.  I saw people at the end of the long hallway.  It seemed to be all men and they were in some sort of uniform.



At that point I became aware that they were English and the the year was 1431.  It was the end of the 100 year war with France.  I was French and had no idea wht I was doing in an English prison.  My roots traced back to French Switzerland. I deduced that it was an English prison, but I was French to the bone!  What was going on?



I watched as the contingent of men in their army uniforms came toward my door.  I was locked in a small rock cell with only a pallet on the floor.  I wore a uniform consisting of a pair of pants that were tied tightly at my waist, a coarse jacket  and no more.  The men stopped at the door of my cell and one of them unrolled a parchment and began to read:



“Maid of Orleans, you have been found guilty of heresy.  You claim to talk with God!  By your own words you admitted that this is true.  You refuse to dress as a woman, but wear the garb of a man.  A jury of your peers has deemed that you shall be immediately taken from this place and burned at the stake until you are dead!  So be  it.”



With that he turned and stepped aside.  4 men entered my cell and grabbed me by my arms and jerked me outside the cell and propelled me forward.  In no time at all I stood before a pyre.  It was then I realized I was Joan of Arc, the maid of Orleans.  I had fought for France since the age of 17.  I had lead troops in battle and changed the course of history!  I was descended from the Calame and Gagnebien line.  I had no time to speak as I was propelled forward and tied to the stake.  Quickly a fire was lit and I was consumed.



I felt no pain.  I could see my murderers , but I felt no pain.  I was floating, floating, and then drifting down.  I came to rest beside Rompano.  He opened his eyes and smiled.  I smiled back.  I was safe once more for a while.



The crackling fire was no more.  I wanted to tell him where I had been, but as quickly as it had happened it was forgotten, so I just smiled and faded into my mossy little room with Rompano at my side.

#14 A look back. rerun

I awoke to find my mossy little room aglow.  I quickly found the source of the ethereal light.  Rompano sat a few feet from me and the light was coming from him!  I can not describe the color of the light, only that it was the brightest light I had encountered in my room, which now that I thought about it, was always bright.  As soon as he saw I was awake, the light dimmed.

"Well, so finally you are awake.  I turned the light bright to wake you up.  I didn't want to just shake you awake.  That is so rude.  Guess where we are going today?"

I stared at him with my mind completely blank.  I began to have a vision and knew that we were communicating in the way the hereafter let us communicate.  I saw a lovely garden.  It was beautiful beyond any earthly thing I could imagine.  Every kind of tree and shrub.  Beautiful flowers.  The soil was fertile and everywhere I looked was a different vista.  I looked beyond and as far as I could see, the garden extended.  And then I noticed there were people in the garden.  Across the garden I saw a man who was completely naked picking produce in a beautiful vegetable garden.  Carrots, lettuce, tomatoes, and a vegetable I did not recognize.  I looked to Rompano for an answer.

"Okra" he said simply."  That was one vegetable I had never really cared for so of course I would not recognize it.  "The man is Adam.  He is picking vegetables for their meal.  Eve is over there picking fruit.  They do not eat meat here."

I looked where he pointed and saw a lovely woman.  She was also naked.  Realization hit me!  This was the Garden of Eden.  This was where it all began!  As I watched the woman I knew it was Eve and to my astonishment I realized she was talking to a snake.  Oh, my God!  I was witnessing The Temptation!  For the first time since my death I had a feeling of helplessness.  I wanted to run forward and grab the snake and throw it out of the Garden, but I could not move.

"Rompano!  Why can't I move!  I could throw Satan out of the garden and the world would be perfect again!"  He only watched quietly and said not a word.

To my horror I saw Eve reach for the apple.  I watched helplessly as she took a bite.  I saw her face light up and then watched as she plucked another.  She left the tree and went to where Adam waited by the vegetable patch.  My feet were frozen to the ground as if I were one of the plants.  I looked for Rompano, but I could not see him.

"Look Adam!  I picked this from the tree in the center of the Garden.  Oh, it is so good!  You have to try a bite."  Adam was aghast!

"No, Eve!  That is the tree  knowledge.  The knowledge of good and evil.  Father said we could not eat of it or we would surely die.  Oh, my God!  You tasted it didn't you?"  Eve smiled a sly smile.

"Yes!  And that is why Father said not to eat it.  He knew we would then know what he knew, and it is so good.  It is sweet and like nothing I have ever tasted.  Look at me!  I am the same.  Nothing has changed.  He just wanted to keep it all for himself.  Here!  Just take one bite and you will see.  It hurts nothing, just tastes so good you will not believe it."  She held the apple out towards him and smiled innocently.

I watched in horror as Adam took the apple and bit into it.  I watched as he looked at Eve's naked body and then at his own.  I watched as he ran to the nearest tree and plucked a branch to cover himself and then one for Eve.  As I watched they seemed to age before my eyes.  Adam's hair turned white as snow and the years began to show on their faces.  My mind could barely absorb what I had just seen.  I closed my eyes and escaped to my mossy little room where Rompano waited.

"Oh, Rompano!  That was horrible!  Why couldn't I stop her?  Why was I there?"

"You do not exist, so how could you stop them, who also do not exist?  You will see many things while you are here.  I will take you many places, but you will not be able to change history.  I want you to know all this, because while you know it on some level, you have forgotten.  What you do need to know is that you were Eve.  Every one you meet in these travels, you are.  Well, you are not all of them, but you are one of the people.  You are in for one big experience and when it is over you will be perfect."

And with that, he was gone.  I was glad because I needed to think.  I was Eve.  I was the beginning.  I had brought the knowledge of good and evil into the world.  I wanted to change the world and I had, right from the beginning.  What else had I done?  Did I want to know?  It did not seem to make any difference, because Rompano would lead me through my existence and make me face it all.

But for now, sleep was my only escape.

#12 The annual meeting. rerun

I awoke with a sense of anticipation.  Something was different!  Sysnyck and Charmin were not with me.  That in itself was strange, but not troubling.  They had found me on their own and they would be back of that I was sure.  I hurried to the opening and to my amazement the area was filled with people none of whom I recognized and yet I somehow felt I knew them all.  One thing was sure, we were all in the same place for the same reason.  I did not see where they could have come from and as I turned to my mossy little room, I found it was not there!  So were all these people living around me and I could not see them?  This was indeed strange.

I found a man with whom I felt a complete sense of peace.  He was wearing a pair of bib overalls and sporting a full, gray beard and a head of frowzy gray hair.  As I approached him he turned and looked me full in the face.  I was astounded to see his  eyes that were neither hazel nor blue and yet were both hazel and blue.  My mothers eyes!  The high cheekbones!

"Grandpa Haas?"  He smiled and as he smiled I could hear angels sing.  What the hell?

"No, my child, but you are close.  I am your great grandfather.  I brought your grandfather to Ellis Island when he was but a wee lad."  My heart sang.  'Wee Lad'.  That was Scottish or Irish or something I knew ran through my veins.

My great grandfather.  I felt so very safe with this man.  I could feel the bond in the bottom of my soul and as I was enveloped in a sense of love like one I had never known I could see and feel the ship landing at the pier at Ellis Island.  I could see the long hall teeming with humanity.  I could see my grandfather in his bib overalls holding the hand of an older girl I felt to be his sister.  An older brother I recognized as Uncle Goll.  No, that would be a great uncle.  As I watched the rag tag lot of them making their way down the hall, my heart was swollen with love for these people who I did not know, but knew that I would learn of them through the history of our family.

Christoph Adam Haas would someday be my grandfather.  I would not remember meeting him, but I would live with his wife who was my grandmother Josie Emma Miller Haas and my Great Grandmother Helen Gagnebein Hatfield.  My heart was swollen with love for this family who had traveled so very far to the shores of the United States of America.  I stood very close to my Great Grandfather as he reached down and rested his hand on my shoulder.  I felt very young and vulnerable at that moment.  I was beginning to get the hang of this being whatever age I needed to be at any given time.  But the crowd was beginning to swirl and seperate and then come together as I clung to my grandfather.

A hush fell over the crowd as a voice spoke.  It was not loud, but everyone seemed to hear it and obey.  As a name was called all the members of that family name seemed to be circled by a golden rope that was completely ethereal.

"Johann Jacob Haas of Dettengin, Germany!"  My great grandfather straightened with pride.  I saw my group being circled with the golden lasso.  Mother, Jake, Grandma Haas, Uncle Goll, Josephine, Mary, Dorothy, Aunt Mabel.....  I clung to my great grandfather.  The reading of the names was soon over and I found myself alone as the reading of another list began.

 Delbert Bartholomew, Reuben Bartholomew, Earl Duane Seeger.......I soon knew this was the list for the next 50 years.  The ones who had gone before that disappeared and I found myself now standing with my family I had grown up with.  This was a smaller group. I somehow knew this list would soon narrow down.  The whole process was not taking long and soon I found myself alone.  I was apparently the last one to pass in my family.

And then I became "aware".  There was no other way to explain it.  I knew that this was the supreme beings way of knowing who was here and who was not.  I suddenly understood it all.  We were all here all the way back to the beginning of time.  The judgement would come some time in the future.  In the meantime, we all existed on a plain of time that was sort of a holding pattern.  This was how it was.  We could roam and do what we wanted.  We could visit.  We could probably even play games if we so choose, but we were here until the judgement day.  Maybe there was a place that I could go to find out all this stuff.  The thought had no more then occurred to me when a small, light blue cloud appeared to me.  To my amazement, it appeared to be a woman, but spoke as a man.

"Welcome!  I am Rompano.  I am your guide in the hereafter.  I will answer all your questions and guide you along the path to your salvation.  Are you ready?"

And with that statement, I realized I was in my mossy little room and it was time for my nap.