I awoke with a start to the realization that my room was glowing! "Hello!" I called. And then dissolved in gales of laughter. How was I saying hello when I had no body to do it with? I composed myself, although I still found it funny. That was one thing that I had not lost in the transition. I had been a happy person in life and it looked like I was going to be happy here, although pretty lonely if someone didn't come and show me around. Sysnyck and Charmin were still at my side. I took a deep breathe and stood. The walls of the mossy room looked different some how. Then I realized what had changed. Across from where I stood there was what appeared to be an outline of a door. As I watched the outline became clearer and then to my utter astonishment, it began to dissolve.
A sliver of light came through the opening. Well, not a sliver so much as what appeared to be a group of bright dots. I had hallucinated one time and seen something much the same. That was on top of Wolf Creek Pass and I think it was frost coming out of the air. It was sort of like something Disney used to do when Tinkerbell zipped around the room. I waited for the music, but it never came. The what ever it was appeared to be about 5 feet tall and a foot or so wide. It never touched the floor, but hovered in front of me as if waiting. The dots continued to move, but the mass stayed in one place.
Suddenly my mind was filled with thoughts of my mother. I could feel her presence. I could see her hands. Her hands were much like mine only thinner fingers. I could see her brown hair in the style she wore when she was in high school She had been the prettiest girl there. She was a flapper! I remember the picture. I remembered how my tonsils were always inflamed and we never had money to get them out and she would let me sleep with her. (Finally in the 6th or 7th grade it became a matter of life or death and out they came. Mother traded house cleaning to the doctor and I do not know what happened with the hospital but I got ice cream for my first meal.) I remembered how loved I had felt and as I watched and thought of my mother, the dots began to change!
I gazed into the gray eyes that had been my mothers years ago. Sometimes they were gray, sometimes hazel, and on rare occasions they were blue or green. I reached for her and to my surprise I felt myself wrapped in the same arms that had held me so many years ago. I felt her breathe on my cheek and I was overcome with a completeness that I had not known for years. For the first time in a very long time, I felt like I was home. She softly patted my shoulder and whispered "There, there." I was once more 4 years old and in my mothers arms. Could life get any better than this?
Hey! wait a minute! This is not life, this is death. Get it straight here. She held me out at arms length and smiled.
"We need to talk." Her mouth never moved and I realized I was hearing her mind. "I know you have questions and I am here to answer them. So let's get started. Ask me one question." She folded her arms and waited. Then she added. "Only one for now. What do you want to know most of all? Only one."
So I thought what was most important. And I knew. I also knew that we were talking with our minds and she was hearing all my thoughts swirling, but she waited patiently. Finally, I turned to the wall and then back to her.
"All my life I believed that when I died Jesus or the angels or someone would swoop me up to heaven and I would be judged and either sent down or let into heaven. I have not seen anyone and I can not believe this mossy room is heaven or hell. So what went wrong here? Where are all the saints? Where are those golden streets I am going to walk down on the way to the throne of God?" I stopped and mother smiled at me.
"Well, you are an inquisitive little thing, aren't you? Now let me try and put this as briefly as I can. I have been here 20 years or so and even I have not seen the big guy. It seems like only yesterday that I got here. Judgement day is a long time from now although with the mess the world is in now, it can not come fast enough. But we are here in a place that is safe from the world. You do realize that one of these days, those nuts down there are going to blow the earth clear out of it's orbit and this place will really get busy then!"
"We communicate with our minds and we see with our minds. We do not really exist except in a spirit form. You see me as you remember me and I see you as I remember you. You are just a little girl, but as time goes by you will grow in my eyes. For now, all you need to know is that I am here to guide you. I know you have pets in here. I can not see them, but you can. Just picture them in your mind and then reach out and touch them."
She stopped and I turned to where I had last seen Sysnyck and Charmin. I closed my eyes and pictured them and when I opened my eyes, they were there! I reached down and Sysnyck licked my fingers and Charmin rubbed on my leg! Oh, heaven was going to be nice!
I turned to mother, but she was gone and the door that had been there was still open. My life was just beginning!
A sliver of light came through the opening. Well, not a sliver so much as what appeared to be a group of bright dots. I had hallucinated one time and seen something much the same. That was on top of Wolf Creek Pass and I think it was frost coming out of the air. It was sort of like something Disney used to do when Tinkerbell zipped around the room. I waited for the music, but it never came. The what ever it was appeared to be about 5 feet tall and a foot or so wide. It never touched the floor, but hovered in front of me as if waiting. The dots continued to move, but the mass stayed in one place.
Suddenly my mind was filled with thoughts of my mother. I could feel her presence. I could see her hands. Her hands were much like mine only thinner fingers. I could see her brown hair in the style she wore when she was in high school She had been the prettiest girl there. She was a flapper! I remember the picture. I remembered how my tonsils were always inflamed and we never had money to get them out and she would let me sleep with her. (Finally in the 6th or 7th grade it became a matter of life or death and out they came. Mother traded house cleaning to the doctor and I do not know what happened with the hospital but I got ice cream for my first meal.) I remembered how loved I had felt and as I watched and thought of my mother, the dots began to change!
I gazed into the gray eyes that had been my mothers years ago. Sometimes they were gray, sometimes hazel, and on rare occasions they were blue or green. I reached for her and to my surprise I felt myself wrapped in the same arms that had held me so many years ago. I felt her breathe on my cheek and I was overcome with a completeness that I had not known for years. For the first time in a very long time, I felt like I was home. She softly patted my shoulder and whispered "There, there." I was once more 4 years old and in my mothers arms. Could life get any better than this?
Hey! wait a minute! This is not life, this is death. Get it straight here. She held me out at arms length and smiled.
"We need to talk." Her mouth never moved and I realized I was hearing her mind. "I know you have questions and I am here to answer them. So let's get started. Ask me one question." She folded her arms and waited. Then she added. "Only one for now. What do you want to know most of all? Only one."
So I thought what was most important. And I knew. I also knew that we were talking with our minds and she was hearing all my thoughts swirling, but she waited patiently. Finally, I turned to the wall and then back to her.
"All my life I believed that when I died Jesus or the angels or someone would swoop me up to heaven and I would be judged and either sent down or let into heaven. I have not seen anyone and I can not believe this mossy room is heaven or hell. So what went wrong here? Where are all the saints? Where are those golden streets I am going to walk down on the way to the throne of God?" I stopped and mother smiled at me.
"Well, you are an inquisitive little thing, aren't you? Now let me try and put this as briefly as I can. I have been here 20 years or so and even I have not seen the big guy. It seems like only yesterday that I got here. Judgement day is a long time from now although with the mess the world is in now, it can not come fast enough. But we are here in a place that is safe from the world. You do realize that one of these days, those nuts down there are going to blow the earth clear out of it's orbit and this place will really get busy then!"
"We communicate with our minds and we see with our minds. We do not really exist except in a spirit form. You see me as you remember me and I see you as I remember you. You are just a little girl, but as time goes by you will grow in my eyes. For now, all you need to know is that I am here to guide you. I know you have pets in here. I can not see them, but you can. Just picture them in your mind and then reach out and touch them."
She stopped and I turned to where I had last seen Sysnyck and Charmin. I closed my eyes and pictured them and when I opened my eyes, they were there! I reached down and Sysnyck licked my fingers and Charmin rubbed on my leg! Oh, heaven was going to be nice!
I turned to mother, but she was gone and the door that had been there was still open. My life was just beginning!
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