INSTALLMENT #2
Kevin:
Kevin Jackson traced a raindrop down the inside of the
window pane with a well manicured fingernail. It had been a
rough day at work and he was homesick. He had left
Massachusetts 5 months earlier to follow a dream to San
Francisco and now he wondered if he had thought the whole
thing completely through. Boston had been home for two years
and he had a lot of friends there. San Francisco was proving to be
harder than it should be. Of course before Boston, it had been
Dallas and before that Denver, followed by Kansas City. It was
not that he was a drifter, it was just that his jobs became boring
after a time and a change of scenery was in order. But San
Francisco should have been better. They had the largest gay
population and programs and doctors to help him manage his
HIV/AIDS, so why was he unhappy now? Work was great and
the staff he worked with in Alameda County was a bunch of
caring people. The program was one he had wanted to oversee
and was a challenge which helped bolster his resume in case he
ever decided to move to another hospital.
Then there was that little problem of home ownership. In
Boston he had rented but he still had $150,000 in his escrow
account from the sale of his home in Dallas. But this was
California and that kind of money would not even make a good
down payment on a home of any kind. So he contented himself
with an apartment on the second floor of a complex 45 minutes
from the hospital where he worked. The view was of the next row
of apartments, but there was the little courtyard so it was not that
bad. Usually any extra time would be spent on the trail running.
Kevin liked to do at least 3 miles every day and the weekends
were good for 7-10, but not in the rain. Rain was good for
9
keeping him inside and being inside was depressing. It made him
think too much. Like now.
His mind drifted back to Montana and a very lonely
childhood. Mom tried, but mom did not understand the teenage
boy struggling with his sexuality. Then along came Tommy. Tom
was great, but by then he knew and there was no reason to talk it
over with anyone. He was a freak who liked boys. Talk was
cheap. Just how to keep mom from finding out now.
He remembered the move to Colorado. He tried to fit in at
the high school, but found no acceptance until he joined the
Drama Club. They were his kind of friends. Eric and he really
hit it off. He remembered the night of the Senior prom. He and
Eric both had dates and after the dance they took them home.
Then he and Eric had gone to the Nature Center to walk along
the river. That was his first experience with a person, male or
female and it was not an easy memory to recall. They were both
new at this, but they knew what they wanted. So long ago and far
away. Now there were only fond memories of Eric and there
would never be any more made. Eric had died in 1997 while
Kevin was away at College.
No one had told him. No one had told him how Eric
suffered with the Pneumonia that is common in AIDS cases. He
learned from his mom on Christmas break that Eric had died of
cancer or some such thing.
“Did you know him well, honey?”
“No, mom, not real well.”
Only as well as I knew myself and loved him with every
fiber of my being, because he was just like me. But those were
thoughts best kept to himself. Or they were until he had gone in
for regular testing a year later and learned that love was not the
only thing he shared with Eric. He left the trail of the rain drop
down the window and reached up to trace the tracks of his own
tears. Today was not a good day. Would there ever be another
good day in his life? Oh, Eric!
