Slowly I opened my eyes and my first thought was, "That was one helluva ride!" I had no concept of time, nor place. As I looked around I seemed to be in some sort of glen. Now I have no idea what the definition of "glen" is, but it seemed to fit this place. There were very soft bushes everywhere I looked and I stood on a blanket of soft green that appeared to be moss of some sort. I also seemed to be completely alone. This was weird, but not a bad weird. The world I had lived in was always moving and always sounds of some sort. There was no sound at all. Wow! All my life I had suffered from tinnitus and now it was completely silent. No ringing in my ears! This dying stuff might not be so bad at all! At least that problem was gone.
I needed to take stock of my situation. Having never been in this position before, I had no idea what was expected of me. My concept of death, if that was what I was experiencing now, was not this at all. I was supposed to just die and my soul would immediately raise up to heaven and I would meet Jesus and see my mother and be reunited with my brother and sisters and live happily ever after. I was not real sure that dad was going to be there, but that was not my call. At no point had I ever envisioned this little green glen, but here I was. Surely I was not expected to just set here for eternity. Where was that Jesus any way?
I had no concept of time. Was it still my first day? What exactly was expected of me at this time? One thing was for sure, I was at a loss! For the first time in my adult life, I had nothing to do. I had no one to tell me what to do. And from the looks of my surroundings there was not much I could do in this mossy little glen. I could think. But what was I supposed to think about? I had fully expected that upon my death I would be whisked up to the pearly gates with the trumpets heralding my coming. The gates would swing open and the angel guards would look in the book and there would be my name! Louella Beth Bartholomew. Daughter of Christine Josephine Haas. Grand daughter of Josie Emma Haas. Great granddaughter of Helen Gagnebein. I would walk inside. I would approach the throne and all my ancestors would be there to welcome me!
But most important of all, Jesus would open his arms and welcome me. "Come my child. Your labors are over. You are home."
Instead I sat here all alone not knowing what to do. Lou Mercer was at a loss. That was a definite new wrinkle. I had always been the problem solver, the go to person, the leader, and the one who could be counted on in a pinch. Well, one thing for sure, I needed to get my shit together and figure this out.
So I leaned back against something and stretched my legs in front of me. Now you understand, I do not actually have legs or a back to lean with, but this little warm glow that I now am is going to take some getting used to! So bear with me.
There were no signs that anyone had been here before me, but then a warm glow does not leave footprints in the moss. If I were home and watching Jeopardy! this would be a perfect nap. I do not remember the last time I actually stayed awake through that program. It was kind of a joke that at 3:00 every afternoon, I watched Jeopardy! on the little television behind my eyelids! But I must remember, that this position I am now in, is not a laughing matter. I am all alone in this great universe and something is expected of me, and I do not know what it is.
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