I was reluctant to leave my little room. It was my security in a world that was new to me, but I was curious as to what was outside these walls and mother had left the opening so I moved closer to the opening. It was very bright out there! A strange brightness that I had never known before. How can I describe it? Not neon lights. Not bright spotlights. Not bright sunlight. It did not hurt my eyes because it was not one light. It was the same every where I looked and there was no source that the light came from. Just pure light. It was a blinding light, but not a blinding light. I guess I just don't have words to describe it. I stepped through the opening and looked around. There was nothing. No trees, no buildings, no nothing. There was not even a place to stand. I was in a complete void with brilliant light.
I seemed to be completely alone, but I was not lonely. I felt a peace that I had never felt before. Of course I had never been dead before, so this was going to take some getting used to. Why had my mother came to me? Was it to just leave me? This was going to take some figuring and I was at a complete loss. I suddenly thought about my brother, Jake, who had died in a car wreck right after his 29th birthday. He had always been a carefree little fellow and his sudden death had devastated me. I longed to see him. He must be here somewhere. I wish momma had given me a clue before she left me, but she hadn't.
Wait! Charmin and Sysnyck had found me. Momma had found me. Maybe Jake would if I thought about him hard enough. I sure hoped he was here. He had always been a bad boy, but about a month before he died he had started going to church. Had that helped? Oh I sure hoped so.
I closed my eyes tightly and thought about him as I last remembered him in his khaki pants and shirt as he looked when he came home from the Army. Then I remembered him as he was when we were on the Stroh place Before Star kicked him and left a 4 inch scar on his right cheek. Nothing. Then I pictured him in the moonlight as we listened to the Grand Old Opry on WSM on Saturday night. There he was! As Hank Williams sang "Your Cheatin' Heart, will pay some day and crave the love you threw away," I was reunited with my brother who I had not seen in 52 years. He smiled his lopsided grin and I was filled with a joy I had not felt since he had left all those years ago. Many times I had stood at his grave, but I had never felt his presence.
As the song ended I heard his thoughts. "Glad you finally made it. I was beginning to wonder. I know momma saw you. She told me you were here. She said you were looking good. Wanna go fishing? Bull Creek is right over there. We could catch a bullfrog for Josephine!" He laughed when he said that and I suddenly remembered our trip to Bull Creek on the Ailmore place.
Jake and I had gone to Bull Creek just for fun and found a giant bullfrog. He put it in my skirt and told me to run to the house and have Josephine get me a box to keep it in. I ran home and since both hands were holding my skirt and I was afraid of it I started hollering outside the door. Josephine opened the door and demanded to know what was in my skirt. Being the obedient little girl and scared to death of Josephine I opened my skirt to show her. At that precise moment the bull frog leapt into the house. That started the biggest melee ever. Josephine demanded I catch it and get it out of there. It hopped under the bed with me right behind it and Josphine whacking me with the broom. How long that circus went on I do not know, but the bullfrog finally hopped out the door and that was the last I seen of it and I ran down the road to escape Josephine and did not return until mother was there to save me.
We both dissolved in gales of laughter. Then we looked around. Josephine might be here and we sure did not want her to catch us laughing at her. As Hank Williams ended his song and the announcer began introducing a new singer the car faded away as did my brother. Hank Williams had always been my link to the past and even before I died, I still scrounged around and found Hank Williams somewhere. He was timeless.
It was with a very heavy heart that I turned to go back to my mossy little room. Sysnyck met me at the door and soon she and Charmin were both in my lap and I was dozing off for another of my naps. Naps seemed to be the one given here in this place and since time had no meaning, that was a good thing.
I seemed to be completely alone, but I was not lonely. I felt a peace that I had never felt before. Of course I had never been dead before, so this was going to take some getting used to. Why had my mother came to me? Was it to just leave me? This was going to take some figuring and I was at a complete loss. I suddenly thought about my brother, Jake, who had died in a car wreck right after his 29th birthday. He had always been a carefree little fellow and his sudden death had devastated me. I longed to see him. He must be here somewhere. I wish momma had given me a clue before she left me, but she hadn't.
Wait! Charmin and Sysnyck had found me. Momma had found me. Maybe Jake would if I thought about him hard enough. I sure hoped he was here. He had always been a bad boy, but about a month before he died he had started going to church. Had that helped? Oh I sure hoped so.
I closed my eyes tightly and thought about him as I last remembered him in his khaki pants and shirt as he looked when he came home from the Army. Then I remembered him as he was when we were on the Stroh place Before Star kicked him and left a 4 inch scar on his right cheek. Nothing. Then I pictured him in the moonlight as we listened to the Grand Old Opry on WSM on Saturday night. There he was! As Hank Williams sang "Your Cheatin' Heart, will pay some day and crave the love you threw away," I was reunited with my brother who I had not seen in 52 years. He smiled his lopsided grin and I was filled with a joy I had not felt since he had left all those years ago. Many times I had stood at his grave, but I had never felt his presence.
As the song ended I heard his thoughts. "Glad you finally made it. I was beginning to wonder. I know momma saw you. She told me you were here. She said you were looking good. Wanna go fishing? Bull Creek is right over there. We could catch a bullfrog for Josephine!" He laughed when he said that and I suddenly remembered our trip to Bull Creek on the Ailmore place.
Jake and I had gone to Bull Creek just for fun and found a giant bullfrog. He put it in my skirt and told me to run to the house and have Josephine get me a box to keep it in. I ran home and since both hands were holding my skirt and I was afraid of it I started hollering outside the door. Josephine opened the door and demanded to know what was in my skirt. Being the obedient little girl and scared to death of Josephine I opened my skirt to show her. At that precise moment the bull frog leapt into the house. That started the biggest melee ever. Josephine demanded I catch it and get it out of there. It hopped under the bed with me right behind it and Josphine whacking me with the broom. How long that circus went on I do not know, but the bullfrog finally hopped out the door and that was the last I seen of it and I ran down the road to escape Josephine and did not return until mother was there to save me.
We both dissolved in gales of laughter. Then we looked around. Josephine might be here and we sure did not want her to catch us laughing at her. As Hank Williams ended his song and the announcer began introducing a new singer the car faded away as did my brother. Hank Williams had always been my link to the past and even before I died, I still scrounged around and found Hank Williams somewhere. He was timeless.
It was with a very heavy heart that I turned to go back to my mossy little room. Sysnyck met me at the door and soon she and Charmin were both in my lap and I was dozing off for another of my naps. Naps seemed to be the one given here in this place and since time had no meaning, that was a good thing.
I didn't know about this blog. What an amazing imagination you have. There's so many questions I would love to ask you about this. Starting with the mossy little room. And the amazing strange brightness. Who are Sysnyck and Charmin? I hope we get a chance to talk about this soon.
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